goonitis 

A crippling addiction to aggressively rubbing one out, to the point your penis skin becomes numb and red. Those diagnosed with goonitis also have a tendency to do other vile, grobby things. Symptoms can be extreme blistering on the hands, fever, rash/over penile area and hallucinations.

Discovered in the early 2000’s by B. Cedar. Goonitis has become an epidemic in recent years and destroyed the lives of many. Mostly common amongst those between the ages of 12-25.

Bob is such a goon, I think he has goonitis!

goonitis by Sav2savB11 January 31, 2024

Goonitis 

Goonitis is a horrific addiction which mostly affects male individuals between the ages of 16-25. The addiction has wrecked lives, with the symptoms being disturbing to many. People with Goonitis will find they become addicted to rubbing one out Atleast 6+ times a day. Common signs of Goonitis are hallucinations, severe mood swings, leading to deluded thoughts and behaviour. Blisters on hands.

Have you seen Bobby lately? Apparently he’s got a bad case of Goonitis! The disturbed boy.

Goonitis by Sav2savB11 February 9, 2024

Goopitis 

A term primarily referring to Gwyneth Paltrow and her website Goop that primarily spreads scientific misinformation. It is primarily used as a word similar in context to bullshit but in a lower overall aspiration as to utilize the spread of "natural science" as a means to make an extra dollar from a gullible consumer. Basically using the internet to spread miss-information in order to be a Shyster.

I have Jenny has started a website to promote selling $120 stickers that increase your Energy Aura. She seems to have a strong case of Goopitis...

Goopitis by Kermit-K June 29, 2017

goonition

A procedure involving awkward moments, and foolish but creative socially cunning comments designed to make all others focus their attention on you because your ability to gain a crowds attention has surpassed all others.

Goon: A large piece of scrap metal just bonked me on the head cause I think that girl just hypnotized me with that sexy smile lets enjoy some foosball and beer bong. Yyyyyeah!

Zacky: HAHA so true yo, I don't understand but damn you make a good point.

Goon: Its goonition, you fell for it.

goonition by Goondued November 5, 2011

goonitive 

A mental state of mind where you become too able to switch from a positive mood to a negative mood that you realize not to think positive or negitive so you are thinking goonitive.

People who are goonitive understand life so much that it's hard for them to decide what they want from it.

Dave: Yo I couldn't decide on what to with this wallet i found on the ground.

Johnny: What do you mean?

Dave: Well, I mean I can contact the owner of the wallet and give it back (positive) or keep it for my own good. (negative)

Johnny: Sounds like your goonitive again.

goonitive by Goondued November 4, 2011

Goontism

The fervent, autism-coded ideology of treating prolonged, trance-like porn edging ("gooning") as a lifestyle, spiritual practice, and core identity. Characterized by hyperfixation on goon caves, loops, poppers, and the eternal pursuit of the goon state, where orgasm is heresy and brainmelt is enlightenment.

Essentially porn addiction with -tism energy: unapologetically obsessive, ritualistic, and terminally online.

His roommates finally staged an intervention after discovering his browser history and the shrine of empty poppers bottles: “Bro, your goontism has gone from quirky hobby to full-blown religion.”

Goontism by Dummy_Mummy November 18, 2025