crystabating

Depressive masturbation using tears as lubricant when one has had a crushing sexual let down

"Where's that little bitch johnny",

"oh he's probably at home crystabating"

by Yard Panther February 13, 2019

Crysturbating

Seeking comfort and solace through masturbating while being upset over something..

Having been denied sex by his wife for the 34th night in a row John was spending the evening crysturbating to Nancy Grace on tv

by Edo8! February 19, 2009

Cornstabating

When a Pooley shoves a massive corn up his asshole and gains terminal constipation from then on. The greatest way to masterbate

OMG Grace was dead from cornstabating too much

by Pooleywoolwywoo May 21, 2018

Cryptobating

When the meme lords demand that you stare at your laptop to watch your investment in various crypto currencies go up and down, as one is lulled to believe they are a savvy day trader and will one day make millions off speculative trading 10 years too late.

"Man, I was up all night cryptobating to Dogecoin after Elon mentioned it in a tweet!" - Jason, your neighbor who also owns 0.00001 bitcoin

by Bredbored February 15, 2021

cryptobating

When you look at all your cryptocurrency and masturbate.

i'm cryptobating so hard right now, i just came.

by JonTylerG January 10, 2018

Crysturbating

To masturbate using the tears of oneself, or another.

Billy's gambling addition became a never ending cycle of crying, masturbating, and ultimately, crysturbating his woes away, along with bank account contents.

by TPH007 June 14, 2015