Skip to main content

contraceptives

A contraceptive is s form of "Child Prevention". Methods include;

A Condom: A rubber sock for you knob.
A Diaphram: A rubber dam for your ladies love box.
The Pill: Easier than a cheap chav tart, cheaper than an 'E'
Abstinance: The art of not shagging if you aint old/responsible enough.
The Chav species has dramatically grown as a result of smack-heads not knowing about contraceptives. The time has come for the government to either teach people about contraceptives or cut of evey chavs dick.
contraceptives by ConcreteMonkey February 3, 2005
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

contraceptives

The practice of putting your smartphone in your jeans pocket, as it obstructs your fertility when it's incidentally expensive to raise kids these days.
I’m all about contraceptives these days; my phone is practically glued to my pocket!

barrier contraceptives

clothing worn to bed, thus preventing sexual intercourse
dammit, take off those pajamas! bitch, i just can't hump through all those barrier contraceptives!

emergency contraceptive 

1.
Extra condoms (often kept in a backpack, briefcase, or vehicle trunk)

2.
A Left Hand and truecrypt porn volume can quickly relieve blue balls with zero potential conception, but high potential for sexual escalation.

3.
technology with the potential to PREVENT conception (sperm penetrating ovum, the engendering of pregnancy), includes: condoms, spermicide, careful anal sex, masturbation. Any technology willfully killing the zygote is infanticide and in no way whatsoever contraceptive.

4.
One cannot un-ring the bell: don't tap the bell.
Should Mike's flavor of the week be set to fornicate but have no condom between them he could grab his strip of emergency contraceptives from the dick vapor protected gym bag in his car before becoming a Violently Orgasming Obsessed Dick Once Hard animal mindlessly fucking through the strip in one afternoon.

Because all the high school freshman practiced at the same time, the girls on the court adjacent to the guys, the girls could see how well hung Shawn was his long thick dick flopping as he ran without compression shorts. With ample daily offers for good head and more after practice-, on study dates-, and amid the parties amplifying rife lust he used Masturbation As Contraception, the only 100% efficatious emergency contraceptive, lest girls hungering for big cock succeed tempting him to let them ride his cock.

Though Dravin longed to Fuck to Balls Empty during awesomely stimulating Girlfriend Anal Sex (contraceptive if pussy above the anal jizz leakage path) he needed more snug fitting condoms having fucked through all emergency contraceptives but the magnums which were far too lose. Thankfully he had stroke 29 for weeks of solo fuck replay. High school's zero refractory Masturbating Always Daily multiples now inaccessible he yearned to be able to achieve a dozen weekly orgasms. It is his richly visual fantasizing masturbatory fuck replay that escalates his craving her ass above all else, limiting instant gratification.

contraceptive posterchild 

A person that exists solely to remind us of the importance of birth control. Lacking essential components i.e. spine and balls.
Wilson is a gutless sack of shit. Fuckin' contraceptive posterchild.

contraceptive 

A measure taken to prevent pregnancy. Includes the condom, oral contraceptive pill (OCP), patches, injections, cages, caps and sponges amongst other methods.
"are you on the pill?"

"are you using a contraceptive?"

"use a condom you dirty fuck"
contraceptive by Oli87 June 22, 2007

Alaskan contraceptive 

A method of contraception involving sticking ones balls in the snow for several hours in an attempt to inactivate the sperm, and thereby prevent pregnancy.
She couldn't get the pill, and he couldn't go to the store because of the blizzard, and they wanted to keep warm, so they used the Alaskan contraceptive.
Alaskan contraceptive by Grande02 November 2, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026
Load more