Ass. Consultant

Abbreviation for 'Associate Consultant', some bullshit job title to give younger employees a false sense of hope that their job means something. Commonly found in rural consultancies in St. Ives. Sometimes loaned out sexually to clients to secure deals.

Client: 'The proposal is pretty good, but the quote is too high'
Hobb Knob: 'Have one of my ass. consultants for the night, not the yank though, he's spoiled goods and has an arse like a grapefruit'
Client: 'Deal, we'll sign off in the morning'

Ass. Consultant by RandyRhoads84 December 25, 2016

Shri Ram Consulting and Research Centre 

A professional body that provides pro bono research and consultancy services to NGOs, start-ups and corporations like Uber, ITC, Akzonobel and many more, while simultaneously ensuring a smooth and joyous learning experience that would help in CV and profile building as well.

Every Commerce student has two dreams: first is to get admission in SRCC, and the second is to get enrolled in Shri Ram Consulting and Research Centre.

Shri Ram Consulting and Research Centre by SRCRC Fanclub Head November 29, 2021

Slobovian consulate 

This is a sloppy, unkempt place representing the proud Slobs people of Slobovia.

Gawddd, this place is so nasty it must be a Slobovian consulate!

Slobovian consulate by I, Wreckerrr December 3, 2020

consultish 

A gibberish language spoken by management consultants

Consultant: ..and then, if we invert your product matrix and relocate 5000 jobs to China, we can boost ROE by 50% to 13% while increasing upper management pay packages by 200%.

Normal person: Ummm, I'm sorry, what language are you speaking in?

Consultant: Consultish

consultish by AYYFRON March 10, 2011

Consultant 

An unemployed white male

Dave is a consultant.

Consultant by Justin1234321 January 31, 2019

Consultant 

Glorified business hooker, typically hired by a consulting whorehouse, which pimps out its consultants to clients, then proceed to fuck the consultants over until they're pleased (or until the consultants are dead), pay the whorehouse big bucks, leaving the consultant with little commission (including some hotel and airline points) and lasting trauma.

Hopeful college grad: What are some key qualities I need to have be a consultant?
Experienced consultant: Be able to handle long crippling fuckings and be okay with shortened lifespan

A: You're a consultant? What are some of the most exotic places you've traveled to for work?
B: I once traveled to bumblefuck Western Virginia for a year. The only view from my hotel was of a large mine or some sort of a blackhole where no light escaped.

Consultant by TPain Not Impressed June 22, 2014

Consultants of Swing 

Specialist consultants brought in to tip the balance of vital swing stages during elections.

The Donald: We're down in the polls, bring in the consultants of swing for Florida.
Advisor: I'm on it

The Donald: Remember, no Russians. NO COLUSION.

Consultants of Swing by RandyRhoads84 May 21, 2020