RandyRhoads84's definitions

Glistening bead

When you've wanked so much that you are sore, with very little left in the tank, but decide to wank once more in order to break your all time 24 hour record. Upon ejaculation, all that is present is a glistening bead in your japs eye - since you have no energy to propel it any further.

Johnny: what did you get up to last night?
Lawrence: I had a wankathon and broke my all time one day wank record. The last time, there was just a glistening bead on my bell end.

by RandyRhoads84 August 10, 2020

Cuntsultant

One who is a consultant and also a cunt. Highly prevalent in the pharma/healthcare consulting industry.

Sarabvijay: The work we've paid this consultancy for is a pile of shit. We've literally jizzed $500k up the wall.
Jimmy G: Let's not contract with them again, especially that cuntsultant Mark - what a tool he is.

by RandyRhoads84 May 20, 2020

Global Swarming

The inevitable outcome of when global warming becomes catastrophic, society falls apart and those with sense move to the far northern or southern reaches of the globe, in search of a habitable environment.

Reykjavik never used to be this crowded, that's global swarming for you

by RandyRhoads84 October 15, 2023

Chubbthumping

When a person has a fetish for having sex with fat girls.

Duncan: What did you get up to last night?
Woolhead: I had sex with a fat bird.
Duncan: Ah, you were out Chubbthumping again.

by RandyRhoads84 September 5, 2021

Govinda Jira Jira

A hymn like prayer/chant that project managers use when pleading with the gods that they've chosen the right amount of slack and that their plans are delivered on time and to cost.

Based on the traditional Indian hymn - Govinda (Jaya Jaya) - made famous by Kula Shaker.

Michael: just finished my project plan, going to pray it's delivered to spec. (Starts chanting Govinda Jira Jira)
Steve W: Fingers crossed, otherwise that prick Mark will give you hell . Govinda Jira Jira

by RandyRhoads84 June 9, 2021

Modern shart

Accidental shit that was wrongly anticipated to be a fart, which when left to dry forms a sometimes interesting crusted pattern on underwear.

Sold for a lucrative profit to any number of tosser art dealers who interpret the soiled garment(s) as the work of divine genius.

Those scotch bonnets last night led to accidental sharting earlier. I nearly threw away my Calvin Kleins! Luckily I had the sense to dry them on the radiator and sell the result for six figures on ebay to this insane art dealer. who thought the image looked like the last supper. I call in modern shart!

by RandyRhoads84 December 22, 2020

Nonce sense

A person with an uncanny ability to spot a nonce (paedophile) on first site.

I always thought Jimmy Savile was a paedo. My nonce sense was off the chart.

by RandyRhoads84 September 14, 2021