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RandyRhoads84's definitions

Ass. Consultant

Abbreviation for 'Associate Consultant', some bullshit job title to give younger employees a false sense of hope that their job means something. Commonly found in rural consultancies in St. Ives. Sometimes loaned out sexually to clients to secure deals.
Client: 'The proposal is pretty good, but the quote is too high'
Hobb Knob: 'Have one of my ass. consultants for the night, not the yank though, he's spoiled goods and has an arse like a grapefruit'
Client: 'Deal, we'll sign off in the morning'
by RandyRhoads84 December 25, 2016
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Strimming

Trimming anal hair so thick that a strimmer has to be used, instead of conventional means
Michael: 'What did you get up to last night Steve W?'
Steve W: 'I strimmed this bird, initially we tried anal with copious lube, but even that couldn't circumnavigate the anal forest. Tried to force my cock in but couldn't see my wood for the anal forest, so had to do some Strimming instead'
by RandyRhoads84 December 25, 2016
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Up the bumble

When you meet a girl on the bumble dating app and successfully secure anal.
Michael: What did you do last night Lawrence?
Lawrence: I met up with this eastern european bird from bumble and took her up the arse.
Michael: Up the bumble, The holy grail!
by RandyRhoads84 November 27, 2020
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Gashback

When you spend obscene money on dating, and are finally rewarded by securing some gash.
After dating 5 women, I finally got some sex. 20% gashback!
by RandyRhoads84 December 21, 2020
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Wookey hole

Another name for vagina, also a series of caves in South West England.
Nick: why did you break up with Mal?
Stella: because he stuck his cock in Haz's wookey hole
Nick: I see. I guess that's why she's called Haz - because everyone has.
by RandyRhoads84 December 22, 2020
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Modern shart

Accidental shit that was wrongly anticipated to be a fart, which when left to dry forms a sometimes interesting crusted pattern on underwear.

Sold for a lucrative profit to any number of tosser art dealers who interpret the soiled garment(s) as the work of divine genius.
Those scotch bonnets last night led to accidental sharting earlier. I nearly threw away my Calvin Kleins! Luckily I had the sense to dry them on the radiator and sell the result for six figures on ebay to this insane art dealer. who thought the image looked like the last supper. I call in modern shart!
by RandyRhoads84 December 22, 2020
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CR Ho

Officially known as a Contract Research Organisation (CRO), though informally referred to as CR HO in pharma.
Pharma big cheese: 10 people died in the phase III trial! What's going on?
Pharma subordinate: Let's blame it on the CR Ho, those bitches are contracted to run the trial.
Pharms big cheese: I like it. It's about time they got a dick slap.
by RandyRhoads84 November 6, 2020
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