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Mortal Celery State 

1. A state of physical health in which the very act of wiping sweat from one's brow produces more sweat than was originally present.

2. When medical attention must seek you.
Did you hear about Bryan Palpers? He's entered the Mortal Celery State!
Mortal Celery State by chonboi January 21, 2009

False Celery 

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.
As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."
False Celery by boatbutter August 22, 2006

celery generals 

A Tom Green-derived game that requires two people to each have their own celery general (a celery torso, celery arms, celery legs, and a cherry tomato head) and to place them on their own lane of a two lane highway. If one's celery general gets run over by a car, their opponent has to eat the flattened celery general; salad dressing is optional.
No, Jeffrey, you have to eat the celery generals off of the road. Don't even bother bringing paper plates next time.
celery generals by Shov June 19, 2008

Celery Stalker 

A person or hacker who spies on someone through their cell phone.
Yeah my phone has been acting weird, I think that guy I went on a date with might be a celery stalker.
Celery Stalker by Ranchgirls December 8, 2020

Celery Roping

Celery roping refers to a powerful and voluminous manner of ejaculation. Typified and first coined by male porn star Peter North who suggested adding celery to the diet in order to produce a more powerful ejaculation. Roping itself refer to the individual strings, or ropes, of ejaculate that occur on orgasm.
Damn, did she top Vince up?
Yeh, yeh. Vince outchea celery roping she topped him up so good.
Celery Roping by lol_vince_lol June 29, 2021

corporate celery 

A useless employee; someone who uses up more company resources than they return by way of contribution to the company
Wayne is such a lazy fuckwit, he never brings in any sales, he is just corporate celery!
corporate celery by Secretmoose February 20, 2014