boatbutter's definitions

Greet the Day

"Greeting the Day" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. "Greeting the Day" is when you lay your member across the snooze bar of an unsuspecting slumberer and patiently await their clumsy caress as they reach for another 7 minutes of sleep.

And Shakti said unto his pupil Apernam, "As the red sun rises in the east, and the snow geese have landed in the pond, so too shall you Greet the Day."

by Boatbutter September 8, 2008

Seymour Butts

Author of the NY Times Best Seller, "Under the Bleachers"

Bill: Did you do your book report?
Steve: Yes, I read "Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butts.
Bill: Sweet.

by boatbutter April 21, 2006

Burgeoning Salmon

When the lonely fisherman lays himself supine in the river amongst the migrating fishes and allows the grizzlies to paddle his canoe.

Whilst searching for the False Celery in the mountains, the pupil found Nirvana performing the Burgeoning Salmon for a group of Belgian tourists.

by boatbutter August 10, 2006

Slopscotch

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, slopscotch is when you squat down and grab hold of your protuberance and hop up and down until release is attained.

In the northern provinces, Slopscotch is referred to as The Bouncing Buffalo.

by boatbutter August 14, 2006

False Celery

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.

As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."

by boatbutter August 22, 2006

Minstrel's Bane

"The Minstrel's Bane" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. "The Minstrel's Bane" is when you slip your flute into the case of the novice piper and allow him to practice his scales.

Apernam, though displeased with Shakti's falling prey to the Minstrel's Bane, forgave him, for he too was once fooled by the False Celery.

by boatbutter March 9, 2007

Baker's Folly

The "Baker's Folly" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. The "Baker's Folly" is when the baker, weary from a full day of rising his bread, kneads his own dough into the baguette.

To perform the Baker's Folly once is to be clumsy, but to do it twice is bliss.

by boatbutter March 9, 2007