A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.

Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.

Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.

“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.

See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.

John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!

Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.

John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.

Sperm Burglar by Big Dongky October 19, 2019

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Burglarsonarceny

Burglarsonarceny is the crime of burglary, arson, and larceny committed in one act. First committed (and coined) by Bender Bending Rodriquez of Futurama fame.

Phil committed burglarsonarceny. Now he gets to go to jail.

Burglarsonarceny by Stargoat August 26, 2013

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Cunt burglar

A guy who steals his women from either their husbands or boyfriends.

He is such a cunt burglar, hes sleeping with that dudes wife.

Cunt burglar by thepun October 7, 2010

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Naked burglar

One who burgles houses, or steals from other places, naked.

Sometimes done to avoid leaving evidence, but mainly just for the thrill of it.

Jack the naked burglar broke into the Smith's house, stole money and jewellery, had a wank and left.

Naked burglar by Witch of the West October 5, 2007

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ass burglar

1.) One who breaks into another's ass during the night.
2.) Penix

Someone broke into my home last night. My ass is pretty sore right now.

ass burglar by brandon + darren September 17, 2003

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Oblication

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.

So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.

Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011

Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

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Surf Dracula Syndrome

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.

I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!

Surf Dracula Syndrome by AOmundson June 18, 2023

Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

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Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.

Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.

Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026

Word of the Day on October 23, 2026

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Plate of Brown

A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.

Wanna go to meal hall & grab a plate of brown?

Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020

Word of the Day on October 22, 2026

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Larpenomics

When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.

Andrew Tate has mastered the field of larpenomics

Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026

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Palmela Handerson

Your hand that you masturbate with.

Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?

Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!

Palmela Handerson by One eyed wombat June 13, 2018

Word of the Day on October 20, 2026

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