bedpost

a post of a bed

close your legs, i can smell the varnish from your bedpost

bedpost by j d October 13, 2003

Bedpost Rammer 

A person, most commonly a male, who thoroughly enjoys ramming his bed post in out of his asshole repeatedly for his own pleasure.

Man, John is such a bedpost rammer, you can just tell by how he walks every morning.

Bedpost Rammer by kookmaster6969 April 19, 2017

notch in the bedpost 

A person you've had sex with. Derived from the practice of tallying the number of sexual partners you've had by indenting your bed post. It is often used in derogatory fashion, by representing that a person is recognized solely as a past sexual achievement.

Tom: Hey, what happened with that girl...Sarah?
Kyle: Meh. She was just another notch in the bedpost.

notch in the bedpost by hambone skeet skeet November 19, 2013

Fifth Bedpost 

Reference to a male’s stiff, rigid cock while in bed.

I rode the fifth bedpost last night. I’m sore.

I broke in our new canopy bed with a ride of the fifth bedpost last night.

He invited me back to his room and introduced me to the fifth bedpost.

Fifth Bedpost by Eaton Holgoode April 21, 2018

notch in your bedpost 

one more person you've fucked. Similar to the expression "under the belt" or "in the bank." As popularized by Fall Out Boy.

I'm just a notch in your bedpost.

notch in your bedpost by qwertyasdfzxcv March 1, 2007

Squat on my bedpost

The act of performing a squat above a rounded, relatively small bedpost for sexual pleasure.

Ye want tae squat on my bedpost? Sound!

Squat on my bedpost by Mister Beattster August 1, 2010

the reason my bedpost is so shiny 

A way to say someone is comely or beautiful

"oh my god did you see chad brittany"

"oh mah gawd yah he the reason my bedpost is so shiny galfrend"

the reason my bedpost is so shiny by astrahjfgas October 6, 2021