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Beardgrub 

Beardgrub / 'beerd / gruhb (slang) noun

1. Handmade blended oils packed with vitamins and nutrients applied externally to feed and nourish facial hair.

2. Women will uncontrollably desire you thus giving you an indistinguishable competitive edge.

3. These women will not take no for an answer
“ Your beard looks dry and flaky, you need some Beardgrub.”
Beardgrub by Webdictionary June 3, 2018
Related Words

Beardophile 

A person who enjoys stroking/touching other peoples beards.
You like to stroke beards, you beardophile!
Beardophile by Juicysatsumas March 19, 2013
In my travels I am constantly on the lookout for strange new beardos.

I can only hope that someday I will attain beardo status.
beardo by el kevo May 15, 2005
A male specimen whose wildly bushy beard acts a shield of armor to conceal the underlying inner weirdo from the outer world.
Sorry sir, we have a strict policy of not hiring beardos at the day care center. ZZ Top reached considerable fame despite being fronted by two beardos. The CCTV agency has yet to solve the "beardo factor". The newsroom has been receiving mounting complaints of a beardo shouting at joggers in the park. He thought of himself as an enigma riddled with mystery, while his co-workers felt he was an unsettling beardo.

beardgasm 

Beardgasm (from Greek hairgasmos, from organ to mature, swell, also sexual climax from the sight of hair) is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response to a good beard, characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure. Experienced by males and females, beardgasm is controlled by the involuntary, or autonomic, limbic system, and is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround the primary sexual organs and the anus. Beardgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation, body movements and vocalizations are expressed, and random acts of dry humping said beard. .
Did you see Brian Wilson's new "filthy" pitch? I just had a beardgasm!
beardgasm by The Supertits May 10, 2011

beardosaur 

Girl 1: OMG, did you see Jenna's new boyfriend?
Girl 2: Yeah, he's a total beardosaur
beardosaur by Scarsz May 19, 2018