alimoany 

Funds that a woman tries to extort from a guy through dramatic tearful wailing.

If you've done nothing truly wrong, don't listen to a whiny bi**h's blubbery nagging --- she's just trying to get alimoany from you.

alimoany by QuacksO March 19, 2019

Alimony

From the Latin 'Alimonus', meaning to castrate a man by using his wallet.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
- Groucho Marx

Alimony by Rockology_101 January 11, 2015

alimony pony 

To ride an alimony pony it is when lower-income ex-spouse continue meeting certain living by getting the amount paid by one ex-spouse after a divorce.

"Friends":

- How have U been?
- Well, I am divorced. I'm riding the alimony pony.

alimony pony by Molekula Apelsina March 14, 2014

Alimony

A program started in the 1920's to 1930's to support women who's job was to stay home and take care of the kids and run the house. Women were not allowed or encouraged to work, and as so, were unable to support themselves after a divorce. Somehow, the program has continued until this day, since the modern woman is apparently still unable to care for herself, or provide for herself. The system is flawed in several ways, the main one being that if the modern day family decides to keep the "mom/honey bunny" at home, the dad must usually find a high paying job or work much overtime to make up the missing income from his loving spouse staying at home. Its a good deal the first year as mom has playdates for the kids, dinner on the table, clean house, etc. After the novelty of marrige for the woman has worn off, after about 12 months, The downward spiral begins. Mom stops cooking, spends the day out shopping with friends, banging everyone but their husband, no dinner cooked when the husband gets home, and sure as hell no clean underware in the drawer. Credit card debt starts just to pay the monthly bills, Husband tries to get MORE overtime to keep credit cards from building and that helps for a while. Just want to make honey bunny happy and give her everything she desires...right?! After year #3 the husband starts to think in the back of his mind that they are in trouble, Wifey poo knew after the first year when she started banging the mail man, cable guy, and everyone at the local bar. Creditcard debt is at the $20,000 - $30,000 range due to numerous Home Shopping Network purchases ( I mean, what else the fuck is she suppose to do when she is at home, alone, all day???)Eventually, she gets one of her fuck buddies to propose to her, I mean the worthless son of a bitch she has been married to is never home, always working, and always bitching about the bills. "Bastard never gives me any money" is a common chant...and a justification to start stashing the grocery money every week and start putting that bill on the credit card too. Divorce comes, and of course the lifestyle that your little princess has become accustomed to needs to continue, so alimony needs to start. She gave you the best years of her life, stayed home so she could......well, stayed at home and could not enter the work place so you owe her, big time. Of course with her nursing degree she can get a job anywhere (that was paid for by you too!) but she could not possibly continue to be a member of the country club on her $60,000 a year salary. Of course the Alimony amount is figured on your 2 job, 80 hour a week income as well as the child support. Your now 40 year old Ex wife still bitches constantly because she does not get 100% of your paycheck, is in another shitty relationship, only refers to you as dead beat dad! to your kids (because it somehow helps her self esteem) and is pissed because you are banging a 23 year old sweet thing, and she is STILL up to her saggy tits in creditcard debt!

Ex Wife: Ohhh, my Alimony check is here, lets go shopping
Ex Wifes Friend: Sounds like a plan, how much you got?
Ex Wife: I get $1500 plus $1500 child support.
Ex Wifes Friend: Damn!!! What a deal
Ex Wife: I know, I know. Im trying to get my new boyfriend to propose so I can do it again. I figure I will have 3 or 4 ex's before its all said and done. That will be some serious bank!!!
Ex Wifes Friend: Amen sister. Men are such assholes huh?
Ex Wife: Tell me about it. Pass me another bon-bon and lets get HSN on the TV.....Kiiiiids, get mama another beer!

Alimony by Mr. Response February 15, 2006

Alimony

The fucking you get for the fucking you got.

"I'd leave the worthless, no-hummer givin' bitch, but the alimony would kill me."

Alimony by Anonymous March 14, 2003

Alimony

A monthly payment Men are forced to pay to their Wife's for the pass used of their Vagina.

Also known as vaginamoney.

One of the MANY REASONS why a man NOT get MARRIED to a WESTERN WOMAN.

Bob divorced that cheating slut but he was still forced to pay alimony to that bitch.

Alimony by Kunzy D January 6, 2012

Alimony

Basically, she has the legal right to take your house, your money, everything you worked so hard your entire life to get, and your balls.

Nathaniel had to pay alimony to his wife Janetta after two years of marriage, despite the fact that she has already been divorced six times before.

Alimony by AYB October 9, 2003