Tearsturbating

To masturbate using your own tears as lubricant

Greg has been sitting at his house tearsturbating all week ever since his girlfriend broke up with him.

Tearsturbating by curt84 August 15, 2011

Tagsturbating

When someone tags themselves in lots of facebook pictures.

Sarah: I caught Alex tagsturbating last night, it was so embarrassing!

Beth: I know! Alex is such a chronic tagsturbator, I heard her parents walked in on her once.

Sarah: She's such a slut!

Tagsturbating by Ziggysmallz October 25, 2011

tradsturbating 

The act of masturbating to more traditional stimuli instead of whatever is supposed to be technologically current.

Dino: Hey, where's Stan?
Karl: We won't see him for days. He got his vintage porn stills in the mail yesterday. He'll be tradsturbating to the point of dehydration.
Dino: I wish he'd just do internet image searches daily instead of these binges.
Karl: He's a traditionalist, Dino! A real class act!!

tradsturbating by von groovy May 20, 2017

fearsturbating 

Sexually stimulating yourself with illusory sources of fear.

Wait, folks in the prepper forum circle jerking and fearsturbating over their poor understanding of current events?!

fearsturbating by TBZ1 March 25, 2023

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022