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spermaid 

someone that is so obsessed with their boyfriend that they literally want to live in their ball sack and swim around like a mermaid
“hey, where’s Julie been?”
“this spermaid has been with her boyfriend for the last 72 hours”
spermaid by kareezus January 23, 2020

Spermatitis 

A condition where toxic sperm causes itching, dry skin or a rash on swollen, reddened skin directly around an orifice. In the southern hemisphere it may cause the skin to blister, ooze, crust or flake of. Which is also worth noting that these flakes are a valid source of nutrition in many developing 3rd world nations.
No homo bro, is there something stronger than head & shoulders for my spermatitis?
Spermatitis by Ranchgirls December 12, 2020

spermmistake 

A spermmistake occurs when your wife experiences an unwanted pregnancy, courtesy of your not bothering to put a fucking rubber on your schlong before having hot sex.
Regarding the kid that killed an Aussie tourist, various surgical procedures with rusty tools and no anesthesia would be fitting punishment for that spermmistake!

Pokèmon is one of the main things that destroyed the last generation. A kid with ADD or ADHD who LOVED the Japlantisneese art silliness could financially ruin their parents on 'shopping day', or when the li'l spermmistakes got their stinkin' allowance and spent the entire day at the card shop so that they could blow it all on those asinine Pokèmon trading cards.
spermmistake by Telephony August 31, 2013

spermmistake 

A child that you (your wife or girlfriend actually!) didn't really want to have.
I personally download Ipad game apps every time one's offered as the "Free App of the Day", because they are very good learning tools for young kids. Whether I'm watching over a relative, or taking care of my own spermmistakes, I'll at least have something better than flash cards and repeating "Ball" 500 times while the child would rather make spider webs with his own slobber.
spermmistake by Telephony September 9, 2013

Spermtaking 

Similar to "Breathtaking," this is when a girl is so attractive that it may cause a man to need to or want to ejaculate.
Person 1: Dude, Lia has been looking pretty spermtaking lately hasn't she?
Person 2: You're telling me dude, i'm just going to need about thirty seconds in the bathroom real quick...
Spermtaking by ralphparker December 26, 2010

spermnap 

To have sex with a man in order to get pregnant

To steal a man's sperm and insert it into your vagina
Can you believe Rashida? She spermnapped that guy at the bar last month and now she's pregnant!

She really wants a baby, so she's gonna spermnap the next guy she sleeps with.
spermnap by PulpDictionAri December 8, 2011