A combination of the words "spam" and "vampire" used for describing marketers, particularly telemarketers (voice spam), spammers (e-spam), door-to-door sales persons/solicitors (direct spam) and anyone who adds your e-mail to their e-news letter or blog without your consent (more e-spam) such as "life-style coaches" and "business" consultants. The term is applied appropriately to anyone who is performing the life sucking annoyance of sending you unwanted voice mail, spam, knocking on your door to get you to buy or sign something or otherwise accosting you on the street with a clipboard. Unlike vampires, they are usually resistant to garlic, holy water and the cross. However, just like vampires, a good sturdy wooden stake through the heart should dispatch them forever. Girlscouts fall into this category when perched in front of grocery stores hawking cookies.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

A special type of vampire which will bite lumps of spam and drain it of it's fluids. It is afraid of Charlie naked as are all living things.