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schinkered 

1. To slow or inhibit forward movement or progress to the point of stagnation and ultimately, death.
2. The act of drawing someone's attention away from something, or to deflect.
3. The polar opposite of helpful.
I requested a change to the corporate router, but I was schinkered.

Ulquiorra Schiffer

(Noun) ウルキオラ・シファー Urukiora Schifa Ulquiorra Schiffer is Espada 4 in the anime/manga series "Bleach" created by Tite Kubo.
Ulquiorra shows quite an analytical mind with great fighting prowess and never reveals his plans or fighting style as most other characters do.
Known to have effortlessly defeated Ichigo in Episode 162 of the Japanese Animated series, Ulquiorra shows no visible sign of weakness.
Pale gray-skinned Arrancar with large emerald green eyes, teal tear streaks and coal black hair.
The remnant of Ulquiorra's Hollow mask is in the shape of a half helmet on the left side of his head with a single horn.

Ulquiorra shows no signs of emotion and is typically inaccurately labeled "emo" because of his straight face and lack of expression.
He displays absolutely no emotions and speaks to others in a condescending and even demeaning manner since he views them as trash and undeserving of his time.
Excerpt of a conversation between Ichigo Kurosaki and Ulquiorra Schiffer from episode 161:

Ichigo:You're...
...Ulquiorra!
Ulquiorra:You know my name?
But I don't recall having told it to you before.
At any rate,
Kuchki Rukia is dead.
Ichigo:What...did you say?!
Ulquiorra:More accurately, she and Espada number 9 killed eachother.
She was covered in wounds, and her body was run through by a spear.
She couldn't possibly be alive.
Ichigo:Don't jump to conclusions.
Rukia's reaitsu just decreased a second ago.
You weren't at their fight, so you wouldn't know weather or not-
Ulquiorra:We have synchronized recognition.
That was one of Espada number 9's abilities, as well as his responsibilities.
He constantly conveys information on any enemy he fights to all of us.

*Ichigo starts to walk away*

Where are you going?
Ichigo:I'm going to save Rukia.
Ulquiorra:I believe I told you she's dead.
Ichigo:I don't think she is.
Ulquiorra:You're being obstinate.
Are you sure you don't want to kill me before you go?
Ichigo:I have no reason to fight you.
Ulquiorra:What does that mean?
Ichigo:You may be the enemy, but you haven't harmed any of my friends yet.
Ulquiorra:I see.
Would that still apply if I told you I was the one who forced Inoue Orihime to come to Hueco Mundo?

*Ichigo flash steps to Ulquiorra dropping Nel and clashes his sword to Ulquiorra's defending iron-skinned arm in a violent rage*

Ichigo:I knew Inoue didn't go to Hueco Mundo of her own free will after all!
Ulquiorra:That's unexpected.
You still held doubts about her intentions, even though you came here to save her.
Ichigo:Don't you understand?!
Everyone's calling Inoue a traitor because of you!
Ulquiorra:Makes sense.
If that wasn't the case, then it would mean I'd miscalculated something.
Ichigo:Damn you!
Ulquiorra:Is that reason enough for you to fight me now?
Ulquiorra Schiffer by Hollow Girl January 4, 2009

Sheffered 

To be screwed over by your co-worker; To be affected negatively by a co-worker that makes you contemplate suicide
“Dude, when I got on shift today I found out I got Sheffered by Sheffer! I’m going to kill myself”
Sheffered by Tester Testorino March 3, 2020

swiffered 

to be run over by a swiffer in an amusing fashion that is mentally scarring to the person who is being swiffered
Omg I just got swiffered by your sister!!
swiffered by TU PADRE Y HOMBRE! April 19, 2009

Schafferidium

An extremely rare element often used in science classrooms.
What kind of element is that?
Oh, its Schafferidium.
Schafferidium by HardcoreTS February 2, 2018

Ulquiorra Schiffer

{Ool-kee-awr-uh Shif-er}

1. /Noun/ - A character from the popular anime/manga, Bleach. He is a main part of the antagonist group, the Espada, under the command of Aizen Sousuke. His outward appearance is odd (like half the characters in the entire series) consisting of deathly pale skin, large and extremely green eyes, jet black hair, and cyan lines running down his face giving him the appearance that he is crying. As well, the remaining parts of his Hollow mask (as he is an Arrancar) looks like someone had taken a Viking's helmet, chopped it in half, and super-glued part of it onto the left side of his head. His Hollow hole is at the base of his throat.

Not only do the tear streaks that run down his face give fans enough grounds to call him "emo" and "emo bitch", but he also has the personality that makes a potato look exciting. Despite this, he still has massive amounts of fangirls.

Ulquiorra's release form is yet to be known, but there are many theories on the matter such as some form of feline or reptile. Some people even joke he may end up being a garbage man or trash can, due to the fact that in his first appearance he deems everyone he meets as 'trash'.

Popular romantic pairings with Ulquiorra Schiffer are Grimmjow Jaegarjaques, Aizen Sousuke, and most annoyingly of all, Inoue Orihime.

Ulquiorra's rank among the Espada is fourth, represented by the Gothic four on his chest. He also has the ability to take out his eye and crush it to pass on information, having the eye later regenerate.

2. /verb/ - To be out emo-d, out bitched, deliver less ownage, and out uke-d by someone else.
Noun
1. Who's the emo looking kid on the television? Oh wait, that's just Ulquiorra.

2. When Ulquiorra Schiffer is paired up with Inoue Orihime, my mind implodes due to the complete oddity of it all.

Verb
1. Ulquiorra is the only character that can ever master the art of Ulquiorra.
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