Procrysturbate

The act of procrastinating, crying and masturbating simultaneously.

Bro 1: Bro I'm going through a lot, I got an essay due at midnight, my dog also died today and I'm hella horny.

Bro 2: Sounds like you're about to procrysturbate.

by pigbenispro December 22, 2020

Procrasturbate

/prə(ʊ)ˈkrasturbert/
verb
past tense : procrasturbated; past participle : procrasturbated

delay or postpone action and masturbate instead; put off doing something and have a wank.

Roger wanted to mow the lawn this afternoon but procrasturbated a couple of times and now has a sore wrist. Hand to gland combat ruins lives...

by WelshRuffster May 11, 2016

Procrasturbating

Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourself while pressing matters await.

I had a paper due today, but I spent all night procrasturbating, so fuck that noise.

by The Middle Man January 29, 2003

procrasturbate

1.) To waste time (procrastinate) by pleasuring oneself (masturbate), putting off other work that one should be doing by masturbating.

2.) To screw oneself (figuratively) by not doing work when one should be.

I had an english paper due, but I spent all day yesterday procrasturbaiting, and boy am I in trouble now.

by spizzman November 30, 2004

Procrasturbation

to delay time by pleasuring yourself.

Due to my night of procrasturbation, I didn't finish that spreadsheet

by Bernard Bangwanger April 16, 2010

Procrasturbation

1) A port-manteau of procrastination and masturbation.
2) The act of masturbating in order to put off doing something else for as long as possible (not always an intentional practice).

First guy: Did you pay the rent?
Second guy: No, I was too busy masturbating.
First guy: You have to stop your procrasturbation, dude!

by Information Pete September 16, 2009

procasturbate

to masturbate, so to put doing something off, like cleaning the dishes, or meeting the neighbours.

"For fucks sake Gerald, stop procasturbating and come meet Ada next door."

by Biafra J July 26, 2004