Pedalrast
A portmanteau of Pederast and pedal, this describes a subset of the genus MAMIL.
The Pedalrast is an elderly lycra-clad male commonly found atop expensive racing bicycles. In this case, however, not only does he cruise the English countryside in shorts so tight every wrinkle on his aged scrotum is visible, he also stops in small market towns to enjoy an artisansal coffee and ostensibly take in the Georgian architecture.
This provides cover for soliciting the attention of pre-adolescent boys before whom he parades his doughy figure, convincing himself as he does so that he's remarkably well preserved for a man of his age.
Essentially a sex offender on two wheels, he should be run over on sight.
If like me you're generally averse to violence, console yourself that the sound of crunching carbon fibre heralds another boy's unmolested transition to adulthood.
The Pedalrast is an elderly lycra-clad male commonly found atop expensive racing bicycles. In this case, however, not only does he cruise the English countryside in shorts so tight every wrinkle on his aged scrotum is visible, he also stops in small market towns to enjoy an artisansal coffee and ostensibly take in the Georgian architecture.
This provides cover for soliciting the attention of pre-adolescent boys before whom he parades his doughy figure, convincing himself as he does so that he's remarkably well preserved for a man of his age.
Essentially a sex offender on two wheels, he should be run over on sight.
If like me you're generally averse to violence, console yourself that the sound of crunching carbon fibre heralds another boy's unmolested transition to adulthood.