The Water
Panda, also known by its scientific name (Aqueous pandias) is a rare indigenous creature known to reside in the small oasis of Umbrella Falls, Guyana. The Water
Panda, to date, has only been seen
3-7 times in its natural habitat. The history of the Water
Panda dates back to the beginning of time. Currently, there are 3 different species of aquatic pandas classified by the WPCP Water
Panda Conservation Project. The fresh water panda, salt water panda and the aquatic polar panda. All of which share very similar characteristics. The Water panda mainly eats shoots and leaves but loves apples (only red ones) as well as watermelon push-pops and hate asparagus.
1. A Water
Panda (Aqueous pandias) walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want an
apple and watermelon push-pop, make it red and hold the asparagus." The barman took his order and the Water
Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter brought over the meal, the Water
Panda ate it up, thanked, tipped the waiter and paid his bill.
All seemed normal until the Water
Panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.
The barman rushed over and said: "What the hell?!!! You just shot my friend!!!" The
Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Water
Panda!" "Good," the
Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar.
The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his Urban dictionary and after a while he found 'Water Panda' and quickly read the definition...
WATER PANDA: 1. A badass black and white bear native to Guyana, Eats shoots and leaves.