Mjust 

combination of must and just

i mjust eat jelly for the rest of my life

Mjust by y0ur M0mma August 8, 2019

I’m just speaking in general… 

I’m just speaking in general… — a story telling tactic used by old southern people when they are actually reading you from head to toe; inside and out; and from womb to tomb. In many ways, this is worse than if they put both feet in your ass and yelled at you about your folly.

“I’m just speaking in general” has four parts: a detailed summary of your past character; a current analysis of your present actions based on things you did as a child; a detailed outcome of you actions based on probability and having seen your story played out in other people’s lives that they have seen with their own eyes; and, an admonition to change your ways if you don't want to end up like the person they are just “speaking in general about.

Boy, I ain’t got no hang ups; I’m too old to have hang ups. Hang ups is for young people — I’m just speaking in general… Oh I knew a boy like you: he was hard headed when he was a baby and he’s head headed now. You know what they say about hard headed people: A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT ASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m just speaking in general. But, if you don’t want to end up like that; you better change your ways!!!!!!!!!

I’m just speaking in general… by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 22, 2023

Big Ed Moustapha

Big Ed Moustapha is the benchmark for greatness. See story:
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.

For waiting behind door number three was probably the greatest gift ever available to mankind. That prize, was being granted the privilege of being allowed to smell the butt of The Big Ed Moustapha for an entire two minutes!!! You could hear the audience moan for miles! Poody’s heart sank. His feelings of sorrow and despair soon changed to anger and desperation. Eventually Poody had to be restrained and was forcibly removed from the studio. As he was being carried out, Poody was heard to be crying out: ‘I meant to say door number three!!’ ‘I meant to say door number three!!’.

Big Ed Moustapha by Big Ed Moustapha April 19, 2010

molasses mustache 

A mustache that's dripping wet With feces and seamen like a dirty Sanchez but without the pubes

After a long night at the rest stop bob had a molasses mustache from all the rides he'd been giving

molasses mustache by blumpkin25 February 8, 2015

Mustafa Camel Analtürk

Mustafa Camel Analtürk is the national hero of the Turks and the founder of the Republic of Turkey without forgetting his tireless efforts in humanitarian work when the Ottoman Empire was already in decline, for instance he took good care of Assyrians and Greeks and of course, nullified the Armenian genocide trials right from the start because no such a thing had ever happened, it was just a lamentable misunderstanding due to the fact that every year the turkey as a species suffers genocide just before Thanksgiving because of murderous infidels - just ask another honest humanist Reset Kebab Erdoğan about it, he knows that it wasn't the first large-scale genocide in the 20th century as foreigners falsely claim, or like journalist Hrant Dink claimed, also the majority of Turks know this truth but unfortunately ignorant foreigners do not.

"Mustafa Camel Analtürk is the national hero of the Turks and the founder of the Republic of Turkey."

Mustafa Camel Analtürk by O. W. Tongueincheek January 22, 2022

ketchup moustache

When a person performs oral sex on a girl who is on her period. Also called "catsup moustache" in some areas

"Hey your mom is cool. She gave me some cookies and a ketchup moustache."
"Yea... what?"

ketchup moustache by A.C. SlayinPussy July 20, 2016

must be tuesday 

A phrase normally used when an outsider tells you something crazy that just happened but in actual fact it is a common occurrence in your strange fucked up life and just like any other day.

Phil - "Holy crap! Geoff just tripled himself in the middle of the parking lot!"

Kevin - "It must be Tuesday."

must be tuesday by Alekso Schmekso June 7, 2016