Another excuse for Americans to spend an entire day eating

To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.

a day we commemorate taking advantage of the "indians" by stealing their land, food, and lifestyles in exchange for cheap trinkets.

A Turkey's worst nightmare.

National Obesity Awareness Day

A mind-fucking holiday in which we take part eating the only animal that gobbles (That I know of), and commemorate our first contact with the real Americans (Before we made them our bitches).

A day that epitomizes how wonderful it is to be a gluttonous, fat, lazy American. A day to sit on stolen land eating food we may have never discovered and watch a sport that was copied from the very shores our ancestors so readily fled. Also conveniently situated on a Thursday, meaning most people end up with a 4-day weekend.