Masturise

When someone uses moisturiser to masturbate.

Can't wait to get home and masturise!

by Rubril May 28, 2016

masturbeto

The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers

There he goes again, starting to Masturbeto at the campaign rally

by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022

Masturbetes

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

masturbasement

secluded, underground space in your home where you can finally jerk off in peace

"After my wife goes to sleep and I kick all of my guy friends out of my downstairs mancave, I get out my pornos and turn it into my very own private masturbasement."

by Eric Rohmer October 10, 2014

masturbearding

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

by internetsensation May 27, 2009

Masturbeat

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

by William O'brien October 6, 2012