jizzlam

A deragotory slang term for Islam.

I don't trust that new guy, he practices Jizzlam.

by knightly coriander October 16, 2007

Jizzlam

A radical new religious sect devoted to banging and screwing. It's greatest tenent is to lick it BEFORE you stick it.

Mussoweeni was gifted the phallic Sword of Jizzlam.

by Banana Hammie November 1, 2019

Jizzlam

A loosely codified lifestyle that focuses on effective, ethical, ritualistic masturbation and sex. It could be interpreted as a religion. Developed by a Grand Master Baiter known as Sigma Card as he’s spent thousands of hours chronically gooning to keep his mind clear.

Holy texts include a bunch of bizarre sex fanfictions (A sort of goon bible if you will) written in Minecraft servers, porn memes, images shared from e622, definitions on Urban Dictionary, and sex memes. There’s an oral law called the Jelqmud that only goonabbis can interpret.

Commandments of Jizzlam:
-Thou shalt not munt.
-Don’t goon or eat the cum of anyone besides your Jerkmate.
-You may goon competitively any time but you cannot nut in November.
-Do not waste your cum, if you’re going to spill seed then save it in a jar for future use such as a sperm bank deposit or an ingredient in cheese.
-Do not goon the uncircumcised or with men who can’t get hard.

Sorry, Ben can’t goon at our jerknite tonight, it’s November and he’s a Cumslim

Jizzlam be like

by ChicksW/dicks2006 August 3, 2025

Jizzlamic Jihad

To implement your jizztastic dominance over an unwilling girl or guy. It is often referred to as a holy semen war against a persons face, tonsils, asshole, or any other orifice.

Last night I took that infidel Bernice back to my place and after finding spiritual inner peace I unloaded a Jizzlamic Jihad upon her boobs.

Islamic Jihad are gay, Jizzlamic Jihads are awesome!

by D-Fence October 20, 2010

Jizzham

Used to describe an obese female (sometimes referred to as a hawg) that is easy to have sex with and will allow you to ejaculate (jizz) anywhere in or on her body

Man it’s almost last call, I’m about to pound 3 shots and take home that jizzham at the bar Aaron banged last Saturday

by JIZZHAM November 8, 2018

Jizzamortis

1. Jizzamortis- experiencing symptoms of rigor mortis shortly after jizzing.

“I came so hard, I got jizzamortis”

“Sorry I can’t come to work today I have jizzamortis”
“She sucked it till I got jizzamortis and couldn’t move”

by Jizzamortis August 9, 2020

Jizzamathon

When a group of guys just jizz for fun, not jizzing on something, that would be a bukkake.

Jizz-a-mathon

"Dude a group of my friends just jizzed themselves randomly"

"You just had a jizzamathon"

by FapMonster October 6, 2011