A loosely codified lifestyle that focuses on effective, ethical, ritualistic masturbation and sex. It could be interpreted as a religion. Developed by a Grand Master Baiter known as Sigma Card as he’s spent thousands of hours chronically gooning to keep his mind clear.

Holy texts include a bunch of bizarre sex fanfictions (A sort of goon bible if you will) written in Minecraft servers, porn memes, images shared from e622, definitions on Urban Dictionary, and sex memes. There’s an oral law called the Jelqmud that only goonabbis can interpret.

Commandments of Jizzlam:
-Thou shalt not munt.
-Don’t goon or eat the cum of anyone besides your Jerkmate.
-You may goon competitively any time but you cannot nut in November.
-Do not waste your cum, if you’re going to spill seed then save it in a jar for future use such as a sperm bank deposit or an ingredient in cheese.
-Do not goon the uncircumcised or with men who can’t get hard.

Sorry, Ben can’t goon at our jerknite tonight, it’s November and he’s a Cumslim

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Jizzlam by ChicksW/dicks2006 August 3, 2025

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Jizzlamic Jihad

To implement your jizztastic dominance over an unwilling girl or guy. It is often referred to as a holy semen war against a persons face, tonsils, asshole, or any other orifice.

Last night I took that infidel Bernice back to my place and after finding spiritual inner peace I unloaded a Jizzlamic Jihad upon her boobs.

Islamic Jihad are gay, Jizzlamic Jihads are awesome!

Jizzlamic Jihad by D-Fence October 20, 2010

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Jizzham

Used to describe an obese female (sometimes referred to as a hawg) that is easy to have sex with and will allow you to ejaculate (jizz) anywhere in or on her body

Man it’s almost last call, I’m about to pound 3 shots and take home that jizzham at the bar Aaron banged last Saturday

Jizzham by JIZZHAM November 8, 2018

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Jizzamortis

1. Jizzamortis- experiencing symptoms of rigor mortis shortly after jizzing.

“I came so hard, I got jizzamortis”

“Sorry I can’t come to work today I have jizzamortis”
“She sucked it till I got jizzamortis and couldn’t move”

Jizzamortis by Jizzamortis August 9, 2020

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Jizzamathon

When a group of guys just jizz for fun, not jizzing on something, that would be a bukkake.

Jizz-a-mathon

"Dude a group of my friends just jizzed themselves randomly"

"You just had a jizzamathon"

Jizzamathon by FapMonster October 6, 2011

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kidulting

The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys

Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!

kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025

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Boffin

British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.

According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.

Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023

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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

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Dutty

Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".

"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"

Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003

Word of the Day on October 1, 2026

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