I have THIS! 

A simple, but versatile phrase used to introduce a bad-ass possession, especially in a troublesome situation where said possession will have great effect. Also quite useful when you simply want to "one-up" someone by having a more bad-ass version of their object.

It is very important to speak the phrase slowly while emphasizing "this," because it sounds more bad-ass that way.

Originally used by Barry Burton in Resident Evil. After giving Jill ammo for a grenade launcher, Jill asks Barry what he has for a weapon. Barry responds "I have THIS!" while proudly raising his .357 Magnum Colt Python, which is both a bad-ass gun in the game and real life.

Barry: It's REALLY powerful, especially against living things! Better take it with you! *gives launcher ammo*

Jill: But how about you, Barry?

Barry: I have THIS! *raises Python*

Bob: I got this thirty of Budweiser. I'm gonna get more fucked up than you!

John: I doubt it, because I have THIS! *holds up bottle of Jägermeister*

Joe: Man, these fucking weeds out back are as big as trees! I can't even drive the mower INTO them, let alone MOW them!

Jeff: No problem, man. I have THIS! *activates flamethrower*

I have THIS! by Yeret August 1, 2015

I have this friend 

An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.

Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."

I have this friend by kevnar February 20, 2007

Also, I have this cake 

A phrase popularized by Paul Saunders of Loading Ready Run in the video 3 PS3s. It is used after telling someone what you have/have accomplished to add insult to injury. You do not need to produce a cake, only something edible (such as pie, as detailed by Morgan vanHumbeck in Computer Envy)

Person 1: Man, I can't get Recon in Halo!
Person 2: Well, I have Recon Armor. Also, I have this cake.

Also, I have this cake by K2Fer October 9, 2009

All I have in this world is my name and my balls. 

All I have in this world is my name and my balls. — A translation from the Cuban Spanish saying : “Todo lo que tengo en este mundo es mi nombre y mis juevos.” This is a statement of ambition and a desire for “THE COME UP” — meaning an ascension in status and power. It’s the oppositional statement to “Started from the bottom and we’re here; started from the bottom now the whole teams’s here” — which is a statement of a successful “come up”

All I have in this world is my name and my balls entered common parlance through the movie Scarface and is one of its most oft quoted lines. It’s amazing that as of 2023 C.E. this famous sentence has not been entered into the Urban Dictionary. Well, all I have in this world is my name, my balls, and my ability to write. And it is in that spirit — the spirit of THE COME UP — that I submit this definition.

All I have in this world is my name and my balls. Todo lo que tengo en este mundo es mi nombre y mis juevos — and I don’t anyone shit on either of these.

All I have in this world is my name and my balls. by Mind Hunter the Profiler February 26, 2023

back off b i deadass have this timbs and if you step on this sumbitches imma nut

New York talk for when someone has a fresh new pair of timberland boots and doesn't want anybody to step on them

-Damn those some fine ass shoes g
- Back off b I Deadass have this timbs and if you step on this sumbitches imma nut

back off b i deadass have this timbs and if you step on this sumbitches imma nut by Bigdiccmarty September 26, 2021

I have to do this

I went to Dana College it went defunkt. I went Mesa State College it became Colorado Mesa University. I went to Western State College it became Colorado Western University. And I graduated with a Bachelorette Diploma from Southern New Hampshire University because I wrote a bomb paper. I have a PhD. Im a professional lyricist, verser, vocalist.

I have to do this

I have to do this by Atom Ekwillz Adam July 20, 2026

i dont have time for this lance 

A person who says i dont have time for this Lance makes you think they have time for you but the will have time for you later in either the red or blue lion ;)

Keith- i dont have time for this lance*wink*
lance- smiles
#klance-fandom-will-take-over-the-world

i dont have time for this lance by Voltron_is_my_life June 26, 2018