Yeret's definitions

I have THIS!

A simple, but versatile phrase used to introduce a bad-ass possession, especially in a troublesome situation where said possession will have great effect. Also quite useful when you simply want to "one-up" someone by having a more bad-ass version of their object.

It is very important to speak the phrase slowly while emphasizing "this," because it sounds more bad-ass that way.

Originally used by Barry Burton in Resident Evil. After giving Jill ammo for a grenade launcher, Jill asks Barry what he has for a weapon. Barry responds "I have THIS!" while proudly raising his .357 Magnum Colt Python, which is both a bad-ass gun in the game and real life.

Barry: It's REALLY powerful, especially against living things! Better take it with you! *gives launcher ammo*

Jill: But how about you, Barry?

Barry: I have THIS! *raises Python*

Bob: I got this thirty of Budweiser. I'm gonna get more fucked up than you!

John: I doubt it, because I have THIS! *holds up bottle of Jägermeister*

Joe: Man, these fucking weeds out back are as big as trees! I can't even drive the mower INTO them, let alone MOW them!

Jeff: No problem, man. I have THIS! *activates flamethrower*

by Yeret August 1, 2015

Only used a couple times

"Only used a couple times" is an expression that literally translates to "used the fuck out of it and am selling it while I can for a few bucks before it breaks." The phrase is extremely common on Craigslist and Facebook yard sales. Oftentimes, after buying something that has "only been used a couple times," you will get maybe a couple of good uses out of it before it breaks/stops working/ignites and by the time you've gone through the hassle of scrapping it, you'll be wishing you would've just bought a friggin' new one from the start.

"I bought a popcorn popper that was "only used a couple times" and the damn things spits out half the seeds."

"I'm not sure why the washing machine makes loud humming noises. The person I bought it from said it was "only used a couple times."

"I bought a Glock that was "only used a couple times," and the slide flew off when I shot it and nearly impaled my right eye."

by Yeret February 9, 2015

Pull a John Preston

Pull a John Preston is the act of single-handedly fucking up a group of people in the most awesome way imaginable while using a gun/pair of guns/club/pair of clubs/katana/your bare goddamned fists. It doesn't matter what you use because you're such a badass the fight will be over in seconds leaving nothing but a circle of bodies around you.

An individual capable of pulling a John Preston is not to be fucked with. Seriously, they can shoot you without even looking at you, dodge bullets and know what you're thinking before you do.

"Man, I was at the bar last night and there was this fight that broke out. All of a sudden, some guy pulls a John Preston with a pool cue and before I know it there's, like, eight guys KO'd on the floor. It was awesome!"

"I was heading to my car to go to work and suddenly a ninja posse appears in front of me. So I pulled a John Preston on them. Wasn't even late for work."

"So, I storm into this building and there's, like, twenty guys with rifles shooting at me. I drop my M4, whip out my Berettas and pull a John Preston on them. Wonder if they'll give me a Congressional Medal of Badassery?"

by Yeret February 9, 2015

oh fuck

While working on a car, these are likely the first words that you will utter when you realize that you have broken an old, rusty bolt that you were trying to remove. When this particular bolt essentially puts the vehicle out of commission until it is resolved and you have, like, two hours to fix the problem, the "fuck" becomes an all-caps "FUCK" and is spoken accordingly.

"Alright, I removed 10 of 12 intake manifold bolts no problem. Now for number 11..."
CRACK!
"Oh fuck..."

Bob: This SOB bolt won't budge!
Joe: Try the breaker bar.
Bob: Alright, let's do it. Hnngh!
CRACK!
Bob: Oh fuck...

Bill: Oh fuck...
John: What happen?
Bill: I just broke one of the cylinder head mounting bolts.
John: What the fuck?! How did you manage...no, fuck it. You better sort it out because I told the customer the car would be ready in two hours.
Bill: But I need longer than...oh FUCK!

by Yeret November 11, 2015

shit caved in

An expression referencing a severe ass whooping which can be delivered/received by hands, feet and/or objects. More than one deliverer may be involved. To get one's shit caved in is to be left incapacitated on the ground with bruises, bleeding and/or broken bones. The victim may or may not be left conscious although it is considered more appropriate to leave the victim conscious so they can feel their entire body hurt while thinking about what they did to get their shit caved in. Considering the scope of the ass kicking, it is entirely possible for the victim to literally get their shit kicked back into their ass if they needed to take a dump at the time.

In extreme cases, getting one's shit caved in results in death.

The word ordering can be modified in a few ways depending on usage. See examples.

Dominic Toretto once caved a guy's shit in when said guy caused the death of Dominic's father.

Near the end of Sin City, Detective Hardigan caved Junior Roark's shit in.

Before getting shot in the back of the head, Johnny Vang got his shit caved in by Chev Chelios.

by Yeret August 12, 2017

riot gun

A style of shotgun characterized by it's light weight, short barrel (18.5 - 20"), open-choke, pump-action feed/eject mechanism and is almost always 12-gauge in caliber. Such a gun is typically relatively cheap because there are a billion import brands that use this design and anyone who can scrape up a couple hundred bucks can acquire one. Due to it's design, a riot gun is easy to maneuver, maintain and operate. Loaded with buckshot, a riot gun (or any shotgun) will "remove flesh and bone" at close range. Very powerful. For increased range and/or penetration of thicker/tougher targets, a riot gun will fire any manner of slug no problem with impressive results.

The drawbacks to a riot gun include heavy recoil (due to it's heavy payload and light weight), limited ammo capacity, short range and relatively weak armor penetration (with buckshot). Overall with proper ammo, a riot gun is excellent choice for close-range combat and even if you don't kill your target with the first shot, you'll probably slow/stun/knock them down enough to get the fuck out of there or hit them again.

The Winchester 1897 in riot/trench style could be considered the first riot gun. With a 20-inch barrel, this gun killed the fuck out of whoever tried to enter an American battlefield trench in World War 1. The gun was so effective that Germany tried to have it banned from warfare but was ultimately unsuccessful.

by Yeret April 9, 2017

Sudden Attack

A sudden attack is a sudden, unexpected, unstoppable need to take a massive dump. Most often occurs in those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome or those who just consumed a large amount of fast food. 95% of the time, a sudden attack doesn't leave you enough time to walk to the nearest crapper forcing you to sprint like a madman which only makes it harder to hold it in. As such, you're forced to clench your asscheeks together as hard as you can resulting in a very awkward looking running posture that is certain to catch the attention and imagination of all nearby.

"That six-pack and a pound sure hit the spot...OH SHIT, SUDDEN ATTACK!"

Bob: Whoa, that guy's running like he just took it in the ass.
John: Probably a sudden attack.

Bob: Are we there yet? I gotta take a dump soon.
John: I think that there's a gas station about ten minutes down...
Bob: OH SHIT, SUDDEN ATTACK, FUCKING FLOOR IT!
John: Goddammit...

by Yeret February 9, 2015