guarantee 

A word that we commonly use that is one of the hardest words out of the dictionary to spell correctly. Most people just use spell check to fix it, but without it spelling this word right is frustrating. A straight pain in the ass.

BEFORE: Therefore I gaurentee that the facts support my thesis.

F**K I never spell this word right, thank God for spell check.

After: Therefore I guarantee that the facts support my thesis.

Ah, there we go maybe I'll spell it right next time.

guarantee by BJCHRIS69 July 3, 2011

guarantee 

I used to be very stuck up, uptight, verklempt
Until i discovered Mega Joshy 3000 Alpha Plus
Now I can actually lay down naked and relaxed with the lights on
If I can do it
You can do it too
Try Mega Joshy 3000 Alpha Plus
And become the person you always longed to be
Mega
Joshy
3000
Alpha

Plus

Now with a 30 day guarantee

guarantee by Krkič July 16, 2019

guarantee 

A guarantee is the inverse of trust.

Rhys Muldoon: "I trust Amanda Vanstone. If I left her alone in a room with a bucket of fried chicken, I'd trust her to eat it up. I'd also trust her to then launch a national inquiry into who ate the chicken."

guarantee by Alex Quantashassle June 5, 2005

Guarantee 

The only GUARANTEE of wealth is rich parents or rich friends. See how that's just a word trick you're trying to pull? It's no different tha. The retard's 'He thinks but he doesn't KNOW' joke. It actually reminds me of a guy who does what you do! A huslte culture motivational speaker? You know what he said? He's said "What I tell my kids is this: Make friends with the richest kids in school and the dean." Why do you think that is? Because the dean is the arbiter of what constitutes "hard work" And the rich kids always have positions waiting for them working for their parents.

Hym "And what happens if I reject the Big 5 personality model as a valid metric? This is kind of a refutation of that anyway. 'I have studies to back up what I'm saying' but so do the transgenders. I mean you've proven yourself to play things fast and loose with your interpretation of things and you show no signs of being of the temperamental persuasion you claim to be. And it's sounds like what you were saying earlier is that conscientiousness only predicts sucess in entrepreneurial enterprises. What makes an actor more likely to be success? Comedian? And I don't think it's that the fundamental Feminine ethos doesn't scale. I think it's that the likelihood that your kids are as competent as YOU is so impossibility low that if everyone was on equal footing they would be looking down on them. You know how Capitalism works and shield your children from it. And then you maintain the Capitalism to insulate them from failure to guarantee an outcome they wouldn't have been able to gain without you. Why? Because the Capitalism excludes people in a broad arbitrary way because promotion is ALWAYS mediated by the successful."

Guarantee by Hym Iam March 2, 2023

tard fam guarantee 

This is what we call a guarantee that is made by any of the tard fam members. This is the most useless and hopeless guarantee ever. Usually anytime a tard fam member makes a guarantee of any sorts, you can take all your money to Vegas and bet on the opposite happening with supreme confidence. As we have already known, tard fam has no idea whatsoever on what they are talking about and as a result they think that they are smarter than they actually are. Since they think they're so smart, they may let their tard side show a little when they go around making all these promises and guarantees.

Norman "Nick": Dude, I guarantee that I am the least retarded person in this chat. It's probably York if we're being honest.
York: Dude, that's cap asf. I guarantee that Mike Carlson is more of a retard than me.
Armando: Looks like both of you woke up this morning and decided to acted retarded all day. Shut your asses up with your wack ass tard fam guarantees.

tard fam guarantee by TurnM3Up July 21, 2020

Ryan Guarantee 

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee

I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

Ryan Guarantee by AaronFromTheBlock January 18, 2020

the nard dog guarantee 

a guarantee put out by Andrew Bernard (from the Office)... something that stands firm

Andy Bernard: Of course you can count on me, I'm giving it the nard dog guarantee

the nard dog guarantee by tommyboy6688 February 21, 2010