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guaranteeth 

I'm telling you, this burger's the best in town. Guaranteeth!
guaranteeth by jj1123 November 4, 2020

guaranteeth 

Like guaranteed, but with teeth in it
I'm telling you, this beer is the best. Guaranteeth!
guaranteeth by jj1123 November 4, 2020

guaranteeth 

I'm telling you, this burger's the best one in town. Guaranteeth!
guaranteeth by jj1123 November 4, 2020

tard fam guarantee 

This is what we call a guarantee that is made by any of the tard fam members. This is the most useless and hopeless guarantee ever. Usually anytime a tard fam member makes a guarantee of any sorts, you can take all your money to Vegas and bet on the opposite happening with supreme confidence. As we have already known, tard fam has no idea whatsoever on what they are talking about and as a result they think that they are smarter than they actually are. Since they think they're so smart, they may let their tard side show a little when they go around making all these promises and guarantees.
Norman "Nick": Dude, I guarantee that I am the least retarded person in this chat. It's probably York if we're being honest.
York: Dude, that's cap asf. I guarantee that Mike Carlson is more of a retard than me.
Armando: Looks like both of you woke up this morning and decided to acted retarded all day. Shut your asses up with your wack ass tard fam guarantees.
tard fam guarantee by TurnM3Up July 21, 2020

Ryan Guarantee 

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee
I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

the nard dog guarantee 

a guarantee put out by Andrew Bernard (from the Office)... something that stands firm
Andy Bernard: Of course you can count on me, I'm giving it the nard dog guarantee