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Male equivalent of pretending to orgasm or “faking it” — especially in a virtual environment.

CONGASMS occur after 20 minutes of failed attempts to jerk off your petite pornstar cock to an (often drunk, trans or fat) egirl you sexpested for half a day. Usually a congasm is preformed in order to spare your very satisfied partner from feelings of insecurity or suspicion.

This method can be a useful way to dispel rumours that you are actually a homosexual male living in New Zealand.

Named after famous kiwi troll and legendary discord playboy CONGASM who claims to have faked 90% of the hundreds of esex encounters they’ve had.
Person named Samir: “Did you just have esex with that tranny Laith?”

Person named Laith: “Don’t worry, I totally had to congasm after I realized they weren’t another man. I’ll die a virgin bro. Shiiiiet.”
Congasm by Esqsendtoes October 18, 2022
Related Words

cannasmurf

A person who is a member of several medical cannabis dispensaries and who obtains the maximum allowable quantity of cannabis from these clubs in order to obtain a sizable amount of cannabis for personal or commercial reasons

see definition: smurf
if I were a cannasmurf, I'd horde all the kush from all the LA dispensaries

see definition: smurf
In banking, smurfing refers to splitting of a large financial transaction into multiple smaller transactions, each of which is below a minimum limit (such as $10,000) above which banks must report any financial transaction, precisely for the purpose of evading scrutiny by regulators or law enforcement. Someone who smurfs is a smurf in this context. Usualy hired by drug runners and usualy more than one to move an large amount of cash to launder it.

How are you going to launder all that money, Don't worry I have alot of smurfs.
cannasmurf by greenmaninto September 30, 2009

Connasse 

Noun, means "cunt". French.

1) Offensive term for a woman (or man, used by and to gay men).

2) Affective term to a friend (woman and gay men only), due to envy.
1) "T'es une sale connasse." "Arrête de faire ta connasse."

2) "Oh putain connasse t'as trop de chance!" "Ca va connasse?"
Connasse by kindafunnysad June 20, 2006

Connascence 

Definitely, totally, 100% a real word.
Connascence is a real fucking word.
Connascence by realword100 March 30, 2021
A sexual deviant who exists in the only discord server that matters, God Gang. If you are a female, or might possibly be a female, expect a message from Congasm.
"God, Congasm won't stop dming me and asking to see my feet!"
Congasm by Zeraph December 30, 2021
A type of joke made when a figurative statement is purposely misinterpreted and responded to as though it were litteral.
I made a concasm when Jane said "the climax of the show was the icing on the cake" and I replied "actually, I don't think baked goods were ever involved!"
concasm by galactickiss December 8, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
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