Asshology 

One who lives his or her life by being a true and total asshole

He just cut off that old lady he must study Asshology.

Asshology by BoSamprey November 9, 2011

Astrology

A practice used to determine people’s personalities from the positions of stars and planets during their birthdays. Although it seems harmless, some idiots have used it to justify their hate for certain people.

Astrology lover: WhEn Is YoUr BiRtHdAy?
Normal person: November the-
Astrology lover: Ew YoUr A sCoRpIo GeT aWaY fRoM mE!!!1!1!
Normal person: What the hell is wrong with you?

Astrology by akt858 August 29, 2020

Asstrology 

the study of the movements and relative positions of celebrity butts interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.

/əˈsträləjē/

I am studying a paper on Kim Kardashian for my Asstrology class, in my bathroom, with my buddy, Dick.

Asstrology suggests there will be 7 planets left when I'm done with Uranus

Asstrology by Michael de Nostradanus January 5, 2016

Astrology

Bullshit

Astrology is bullshit

Astrology by Yaboilongdong November 2, 2019

Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.

I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!

Astrology by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021

portal astrology 

When anxious college applicants believes that any changes in their college admissions portal indicates whether or not they have been accepted or rejected. Commonly discussed about online on college-admissions forums.

"OMG MY PORTAL TEXT SHIFTED ONE PIXEL TO THE LEFT!!!"

"Bro OMG mine didn't. I think you got in!!! I believe in portal astrology"

portal astrology by udcollege March 30, 2021

assholery 

Actions or behavior consistent with being an asshole

I was fired in my boss's latest fit of assholery.

assholery by Chad December 3, 2003