teaching sweater 

A type of sweater worn specifically by professional grade school teachers, who exhibit high levels of authoritarianism. The sweater itself is usually wool, cotton, or a combination of wool and cotton, and it typically is designed with horizontal stripes. Color scheme is ususally shades of blue, with white or black accents to punctuate one's level of professionalism and real worldism. A teaching sweater is not meant to be worn outside of the classroom, and the wearer should be careful to not be seen wearing it in highly populated, dense college towns that are high in bar and club stock. Wearage of such garb in these places ususally leads to embarassment for everyone involved.

Upon examination of of the exuberant grade school teacher's teaching sweater, a gaggle of Penn State frat boys proceeded to excessively hate crime him until the police arrived.

teaching sweater by Dan Himself July 27, 2006

Tomorrow’s Teachings 

A channel that is not well known on YouTube, however somehow manages to be even funnier than popular channels like Dhar Mann. They make videos that teach life lessons, however they are often funny or offensive and fail to teach any lesson. Some of their videos include Evil Dad Throws Baby in Trash, featuring a man who has the power to possess anyone and aliens, Mom takes Autistic Son’s D**k Pic, featuring zombies and a teenager who is forced to pretend he is autistic by his mom, and Karen Hunts Down Mexicans Part 1 and Part 2 which is explained purely by the title. Oh and they sell merch and you can submit videos for $30

At school
A: Have you watched Tomorrow’s Teachings?
B: No, why?
A: Watch them when you get home, it is so funny
B: OK
At home
B: watches Evil Dad Throws Baby in Trash by Tomorrow’s Teachings WHAT IS THIS THIS IS SO FUNNY 😭 suffocates to death while laughing

Tomorrow’s Teachings by 😩 daddy October 22, 2023

teaching grandma to suck eggs

Teaching some process which should already be known, especially to a person who should already know it.

"What does this woman think she's doing? Teaching multiplication to a Calculus class is like teaching grandma to suck eggs!"

teaching grandma to suck eggs by Douglas Baker August 4, 2005

teaching granny to suck eggs 

English expression meaning that a person is giving advice to someone else about a subject that they already know about (and probably more than the first person)

"I'm probably teaching granny to suck eggs, but............." (then explain in great detail what they already know/are expert in)

teaching granny to suck eggs by rawkaren October 9, 2013

Teaching a pig to sing 

A quote from Robert Heinlein: Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Usually applied to someone that has a character flaw or annoying habit they will never change because they simply aren't able to.

A person with bad hygiene - you tell them they stink but they don't really care.
"Getting you to clean your room is like teaching a pig to sing; it's a waste of my time and all it does is annoy you."

Teaching a pig to sing by BigRed60 August 1, 2009

Teaching My Liver to Swim 

Drinking heavily

Finals just ended and I am going to spend the entire weekend teaching my liver to swim.

Teaching My Liver to Swim by craptastrophy October 14, 2011

Substitute teaching 

Like babysitting, but for people who are tired of changing diapers.

"I couldn't find a job as a nanny, so instead I'm substitute teaching."

Mom: I heard someone was substitute teaching your class today.

Kid: Yeah, we watched three movies and ate snacks all day.

Substitute teaching by Zacchaeus September 26, 2012