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slitigation 

Courtroom-wrangling regarding either unwanted or improperly-formed/positioned blade-cuts in fabric.
Garfield loves to exercise his "paw-pals" on couches, curtains, and other household -furnishings, and so his owner Jon is always at risk of slitigation from irate homeowners and shopkeepers.
slitigation by QuacksO January 29, 2025

ASSWIPE Litigation 

Legal Term. Bullshitting your way through litigation.

(A)sserting
(S)tupid
(S)hit
(W)hile
(I)ntentionally
(P)ussyfooting
(E)Evidence
Knowing he would lose the case on the facts, Cornelius was forced to employ ASSWIPE litigation tactics.

cock litigation

The act of two, or more, rival male suitors attempting to convince a would be companion of their sexual superiority and why they should be selected for a sexual encounter.
After three hours of heated barroom cock litigation, and despite the testimony of several eyewitnesses, David failed to make a persuasive case and Sheila decided to go home with Walter.

Scatigation 

The procedure of throwing shit instead of legal prosecution of a claim.
"Probably would take too much money and time to sue him, so it looks like this time it goes to scatigation...we'll have to cover the front porch with shit, maybe the entire house."
Scatigation by Zacalicious-1 March 20, 2015

Apparition Litigation 

For those individuals supranaturally inclined, a proposal that would allow 'spirit' or 'ghost' testimony--verbal, written or gesture, as legitimate court evidence and admissible for legal proceedings. Attestation provided by creatures such as pixies, genies, fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, centaurs, chimeras, imps, ghouls, gnomes, trolls, hippogriffs, basalisks, dragons and/or werewolves, among others, are patently disallowed due to their imaginary or mythological status.
Prosecution: Mrs. Jones is on trial for the murder of her husband. Forensic evidence will show that she struck him on the back of the head with a large iron skillet. Testimony from our medical expert will show that the blow crushed his skull and fragments of bone severed large arteries supplying his brain. Furthermore, we have an eye-witness to the events as provided by the account of Elder Price, a Mormon evangelist who had just rung the residence door-bell.

Defense: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury--Mrs. Jones is completely innocent of this heinous crime. As our evidence is presented, you will see that it was Mrs. Kristienz, the DECEASED Ex-wife of Mr. Jones, who is responsible for his murder...we call Mrs. Kristianz to the stand!

Bailiff: Mrs. Kristianz, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Mrs. Kristianz?

Judge: Mrs. Kristianz, do you realize that you must answer the question, gesture or provide a written response? Mrs. Kristianz? Apparition Litigation in continuance until further notice...

sitiation 

si · chee · ay · shin
How rednecks say "Situation"
You sure got yerself in a sticky sitiation
sitiation by Evilmario22404 February 24, 2022