salbertson 

Salbertson is a sicker man that owns the flyest accord in the city. He may also steal ur girl, respectfully.

“Wow who owns that clean ass accord?” “Must be Salbertson”.

salbertson by Nutblaster69 November 23, 2021

Keaton Albertson 

An egotistical blogger of juvenile criminality, asocial acts, and childish violence. Someone of complete disregard for humanity, cultural norms, or property.

"Keaton Albertson is a Tucker Max wannabe. His blogs aren't even that funny."

"What's not funny about shitting inside someone's sleeping bag? Tucker Max only shit on some drunk girl's floor."

Keaton Albertson by mantidae July 6, 2009

Jeff Albertson 

Comic Book Guy's real name. As seen on the Simpsons.

Ned Flanders: I don't believe we've met.

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everybody calls me Comic Book Guy.

Jeff Albertson by sextoaster February 6, 2005

albertsons 

Service first, second to none.

Lady: "Your store sucks & this bread was supposed to be 3 for a dollar not 2 for a dollar!"
Us: "You're so totally right ma'am. Please wait here while I smash myself in the nuts for you and while we're at it get one of my other employees to go check to see if you're right so we can save you those 33 cents that you oh so need."

albertsons by Steven H. May 31, 2005

Albertsons 

A hell hole where even if you make friends the cock-sucking upper managers (namely the first and SECOND in charge) won't let you talk even if your work is done. Plus they complain about you and don't trust you if you're a teen, even if you're one of the better workers! And they wont fire the shitty ones!
And the customers bitch about every little thing! They try to scam you to save even just 5 cents! Fuck coupons too, that shit is lame, why the hell do we take other stores coupons?
Then there's the bottle room! That shit is so gross! It's never clean and there's always stinky bums back there.
Luckily there are some cool people! Like managers that let you go on Chipotle or Jamba runs! Or get you drunk! Checkers that are smokin' hot and funny! Starbucks girls that worked at hooters! And baggers that you can mess around with and have a good time!

"If you don't find something to do I'll find something for you"

"Why can't you take my coupon?!"
"Because it expired in 2005!"
"You guys suck i'm going to Safeway!"
"Have a good day! And I hope you get hit by a bus! bitch!"

"Albertsons would be so much better if I chose who worked there!"

"Albertsons should have a back room with stripper poles!"

Albertsons by bag boy April 9, 2008

sabertron 

the AWESOMEST robotics team everrr (:

i love SABERTRON

sabertron by beachbaby56 October 17, 2008

Albertsons 

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.

Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls

Albertsons by marseylover August 9, 2022