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poocrasterbating 

pooping, procrastinating, and masturbating all at the same time. basically a lonely man's blumpkin.
Tanya: What took you so long? We've been waiting here forever.

Tim: Sorry, I was poocrasterbating.

Tanya: What's that?

Tim: I don't know but my hand's pretty sore.
Urban Dictionary Merch

Procrasturbating 

Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourself while pressing matters await.
I had a paper due today, but I spent all night procrasturbating, so fuck that noise.
Procrasturbating by The Middle Man January 29, 2003
Word of the Day on October 16, 2009

Procasterbating

The act of masterbating instead of doing something important. (ie. homework)
Jim: Instead of doing that project, I was procasterbating.

Me: ZOMG me too!
Procasterbating by bob mcd June 16, 2007

procrasterbating 

The act of wasting time, or putting off other more important activities by masturbating.
1) Last night was awful; I had a sumative essay to finish, but I spent all my time procrasterbating!

2) 'Where's Ed?'
'I dunno, but he has a lab report to finish for tomorrow and you know what he's like... Probably procrasterbating again.'
procrasterbating by Danp February 1, 2007

Procrasterbating 

Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourselfwhile pressing matters await.
I had a paper due today, but I spent all night procrasterbating.
Procrasterbating by Greek anaconda February 4, 2010

Procrabsterbating 

Avoiding one's responsibilities by masturbating in the crab core position.
Dude, I've been procrabsterbating instead of doing my paper
Procrabsterbating by JFresh1117 October 11, 2011

procrasturbating 

The act of jerking off as a way of putting off schoolwork or other shitty, unpleasant tasks.
-Hey man did you write your paper yet?

-Well I was about to start it, but instead I looked at porn and spent the whole afternoon procrasturbating.
More from Urban Dictionary
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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