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A male receiving genital stimulation whilst simultaneously taking a shit. A white out and a brown out at the same time. Perfect.
We were very poor growing up on the farm. My half-sister Stephanie was sadly a simpleton but she gave the most beautiful blumpkins and I loved her for it. I say loved because in the fall of 1987 she was found mutilated in the back of a green Chevy van. That's actually not true as I never lived in the country and am an only child but it's still a beautiful image as I'm sure you'll agree. Someone from Arkansas will fap to this definition.
by mammarylane December 18, 2015
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The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.
Morty made frequent trips to the office restroom, but never when the janitor who calls Costa Rica is there, because that janitor like to give Blumpkins.
by Von Hayes March 09, 2005
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Receiving a Blow Job while taking a shit. If done to perfection, than you will die. If both cum and shit excape your body at the same time, then yes you die. If you dont believe me try and find someone who has.
There are no examples for a Blumpkin. Everyones dead.
by blumpkinmaster December 20, 2007
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5
to recive a blowjob with defecating (taking a dump) The best of two worlds. This is universal, I can't believe it wasn't in here before!
That New Jersey hooker gave me a blumpkin and a scorching case of genital warts for $3.62
by bread infection October 21, 2005
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The act of a female drawing a male phallus into her mandibular oraface, while said male evacuates fecal-matter from his rectum.
After I knocked the crack whore's teeth out, I made her give me a toothless blumpkin.
by CassiusKarp June 09, 2010
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A cocktail tribute to the time-honored tradition of receiving oral sex while defecating:

* In a porcelain bowl mix 1oz vodka and 1oz creme de cacao over ice.
* Float in two to three Tootsie Rolls
* Garnish with several kernels of corn
* Top with a blast of whipped cream
Those blumpkins were delicious, but we should wait at least 20 minutes before we have another.
by Dick Cramden July 21, 2009
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