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optorectalitis 

A condition such that one’s head is so far up their own posterior that all they see, hear, say, or contemplate is filtered through their own fecal prism.
When congress meets, their collective cases of optorectalitis combine to form a super-massive brown hole that sucks in our money and our rights.
optorectalitis by charcosa January 27, 2013

Optorectomy 

This is a surgical procedure to remove the nerve that runs between the eyeball and the asshole, with a desired result of improving the shitty outlook of the patient
Jane was a real "Debby Downer" until she had an Optorectomy last week and now she's a regular Pollyanna.

Optirectomy 

A surgical procedure that detaches the optic nerves from the rectum so you won't have a shitty outlook on life.
"Tom is in serious need of an optirectomy."
Optirectomy by LeeC November 27, 2006

Optirectalitus 

It's what you Say when someone has a shitty out look on life
That man has optirectalitus
Optirectalitus by Tazzin June 4, 2016

optirectomy 

A medical procedure that cuts the nerve cord that runs from the optic nerve to the rectum. This is intended to eliminate one's shitty outlook on life.
A pessimist can be said to have need of an optirectomy.
optirectomy by lumberjim January 20, 2009

optoreal 

A more efficient way of calling someone an optimistic realist. One becomes "optoreal" when he or she understands what will most likely occur, but nevertheless haphazardly hopes for the best possible outcome.
"I have conjunctivitis. I don't think I'll go to school tomorrow to make sure no one else catches it, even though I think it will be gone by tonight."
"Oh, I didn't know you were optoreal!!"
optoreal by Ash Money July 28, 2008