Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. He was placed in a basket and tossed into a river immediately following his birth. After traveling downstream for miles, he was found by a young Milanese woman who raised him, naming his Lorenzo after her father, and Von Matterhorn to reflect his Swiss heritage.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 July 25, 2012
Related Words
mattesh • Mattes • matterhorn • mateship • Mattish • Maltesh • mateshqua • mathesh • Mattshea • Manteshvir
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Mattshamu
A man of all kinds.. The life of the party. A man that is a genuine friend and always there. A man that constantly gets stuck in the friend zone and is not afraid to talk about it. This guy loves getting ridiculous amounts of money and having a good time! You will know when you meet a mattshamu.. LEON!
We were all kind of bored just lounging around when all of a sudden Mattshamu stopped by and turned it into a maaadd party where we all got ridiculous amounts of money!
Mattshamu by justsomegreeble January 19, 2011
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
A play to run on girls to get the business.
1st: Have an ability in website design and think of a unique fake name. Have you got yours? Good!
Now when you get to the bar look for a girl with a really nice phone. Approach her with confidence and repeat your fake name often. Now when you leave she will go on her phone and do an internet search of you, where she'll see......
a series of fake websites talking about your many feats in being a billionaire, global balloon trekker, and being told by doctors that penis reduction surgery isn't an option.
give her some time then approach her again and ask if she would like to have coffee.
1st: Have an ability in website design and think of a unique fake name. Have you got yours? Good!
Now when you get to the bar look for a girl with a really nice phone. Approach her with confidence and repeat your fake name often. Now when you leave she will go on her phone and do an internet search of you, where she'll see......
a series of fake websites talking about your many feats in being a billionaire, global balloon trekker, and being told by doctors that penis reduction surgery isn't an option.
give her some time then approach her again and ask if she would like to have coffee.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lesbihonestttt June 9, 2013
Matterhorn
Guy 1: "Hey Jimmy, do you remember when you Matterhorned that girl last year?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, it was totes awesome. She was hard to steer. Wish she took the curves better."
Guy 2: "Yeah, it was totes awesome. She was hard to steer. Wish she took the curves better."
Matterhorn by TWSS12345 May 22, 2010
More from Urban Dictionary
fauxstalgia
Faux nostalgia. Faking old things in an attempt to recapture the feeling of times gone past, especially of technology that has passed.
fauxstalgia by scotte61 December 16, 2010
Word of the Day on October 15, 2026
pajama casual
Pajama casual is a term used when working from home and preparing for a video conference. All business above the waist and your pajama pants down below.
pajama casual by jrod-knows March 31, 2020
Word of the Day on October 14, 2026
funflation
The recent boom in consumer spending on entertainment and experiences with a high demand running up the cost of enjoying of those experiences.
I’m trying to go to this Taylor Swift concert but the funflation has made it so impossible for me to afford tickets.
funflation by Dfree523 November 17, 2023
Word of the Day on October 13, 2026
swamp dog
swamp dog by Crystal Ambrose May 22, 2006
Word of the Day on October 12, 2026
Throat Sweats
Throat Sweats by TacoFings420 April 23, 2024
Word of the Day on October 11, 2026