masturcry 

The act of emitting tears whilst masturbating

he went to his room for a masturcry when his girlfriend broke up with him

masturcry by the-mong February 3, 2014

Masturbaywatch 

To watch the American lifeguard-inspired drama 'Baywatch' for the sole aim of masturbation

'So I was having a masturbaywatch to Pamela Anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to David Hasselhoff. As I understand, this now means that I must be a raging homosexual. Do you know where I can catch a matinee of 'Mamma Mia' and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to assimilate effectively with my newfound kin?'

Masturbaywatch by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

Masturbreaker by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

Mastercrafted 

When a person or persons get run over and or cut up by a boat while in a body of water.

Dick: Did you hear about John the other day?

Jane: No I didn't, what happened?

Dick: He fell asleep on his water tube, and his ass got mastercrafted!!!

Jane: Damn! what a dumb bitch.

Mastercrafted by Lokiofcali September 19, 2011

Masturgram 

When an individual goes on the worldwide social pictoria known as Instagram and engages in the solo act of masturbation to pictures.

Arthur:"hey did you see the new picture sarah posted?'
Luke:"hell yeahh, dude i masturgram to her pics daily"

Masturgram by datthott November 11, 2012

mastercry 

The process of masturbating well one is crying. Quite possibly the most pathetic act ever.

Tim mastercried himself to sleep after another night of parental abuse.

mastercry by Bagel June 1, 2004

Masturcheating 

Masturdating while being married or in relationship - eating out, going to see movies, eating ice cream alone, when your spouse or partner doesn't show any interest for such activities.

Darling, why don't we go and see Twilight Eclipse together? I'm sick of masturcheating on you.

Masturcheating by Olfur October 4, 2010