masturbeib

the act of masturbating to images of Justin Beiber

Mariah Yeater likes to masturbeib.

by JustSayTech November 4, 2011

masturbeto

The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers

There he goes again, starting to Masturbeto at the campaign rally

by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022

Masturbetes

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

masturbearding

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

by internetsensation May 27, 2009

Masturbeat

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

by William O'brien October 6, 2012

masturbernation

The act of masturbating vigorously and causing the individual to enter a deep sleep for a ridiculous amount of time.

When this semester is over I will reward myself a solid week of relaxing masturbernation.

by Sinderton April 16, 2011

masturbaited

When you click on a porno and get a cooking show instead.

Me:Hey man I got masturbaited last night.
Freind: Really?
Me:Yeah all I got was a cooking show.

by It's super soup March 27, 2015