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Masterbateing

bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank
I caught her masterbateing and her dildo was in the other hand wiggling around with cum all over it while she was still playing with herself with the other hand I'm not gonna lie I started walking off she was moaning and cumming and then she had said my name and I came all on the floor that's when she turned around she knew I was there she laughed at me and told me to get the fuck out
Masterbateing by Air_jordan23 March 9, 2020
Words you can keep

masterbateing

fishing bait, mixture of corned beef and bread made into a paste.
"good god you'v had loads of fish today mate" "thats because i've been masterbateing"
masterbateing by w&f January 18, 2009

Maskerbating 

Wearing a mask while completely alone
Before I even realized it, I was maskerbating in my car yesterday!
Maskerbating by Photoist July 28, 2020

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jasons place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.
I'm masturbating.
masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.
Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

masturbating jungler 

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.
Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!
More from Urban Dictionary
Omg, the ramifications!”
-“You forgot about the rammys, bro.”
Rammys by Brandonmical August 4, 2023
Word of the Day on September 9, 2026

Failure Shower 

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.
Failure Shower by Vikingnz October 27, 2009
Word of the Day on September 8, 2026
Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
NARP by Douchebag McKenzy March 31, 2010
Word of the Day on September 7, 2026

High School Liquid 

A person who can freely travel between and fit in with all high school social groups and classes.
He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
High School Liquid by Thaedris July 30, 2008
Word of the Day on September 6, 2026

Purple Patch 

To describe coming into something good, coming into good luck and or good times.

Like walking over small green hills in the countryside then coming across a purple patch of flowers, thus it being unique and out of the ordinary.
I hit a real purple patch.

The other day this good thing happened unexpectedly then I was lucky with this, it was unique, I hit a real purple patch.
Purple Patch by Ralph Shitstorm October 27, 2020
Word of the Day on September 5, 2026
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