Masterbatheing 

To jerk off in the bathtub. It only counts if you come in the bath water and continue bathing afterwards.

"Were you masterbatheing this morning when I came over?" "Yeah, and I've been skeeving all day from swimming in my own stew from."

Masterbatheing by Smith Jerrod December 4, 2012

masterblathering 

Excited, pointless and always somehow self-referential verbal-diarrhea. (See ANY Tarantino interview.)

Not an example of usage, examples of actual masterblathering:

"You don't have to tell me how cool I am, listen to ME tell you how cool I am!"

"Did you see me at Madison's party? Everybody was waiting for me to do something cool, I know, but I made them wait until Madison was right next to me. Did you see it? I was SO AWESOME, dude!"

"So I watched this movie once called "City on Fire" at the video store they let me work at and I thought "Shit, nobody's seen this! If I can get Harvey Keitel and that funny-looking guy from Fargo I can totally rip off my first movie!"

masterblathering by ginsoak May 8, 2008

masturbathing 

The act of jacking off while in the shower.

Why were you taking so long in the shower?

Oh, I just got done masturbathing.

masturbathing by cabbage206 August 15, 2009

masterbating with a cheese grater 

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

masterbating with a cheese grater by matt1975 September 10, 2012

masterbating 

Expertly jacking off.

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

masterbating by Sir Fizwheel Humperdink October 5, 2007

stealth masterbating 

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

stealth masterbating by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

Masterbating Monkey 

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

Masterbating Monkey by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004