Masterbatingly 

Adverb : a state of loneliness so consistent that masterbation is as common or more common then the act of taking a breath.

I am happily masterbatingly single.

Masterbatingly by Cheyboy818 December 17, 2015

masterbating with a cheese grater 

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

masterbating with a cheese grater by matt1975 September 10, 2012

masterbating 

Expertly jacking off.

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

masterbating by Sir Fizwheel Humperdink October 5, 2007

stealth masterbating 

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

stealth masterbating by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

Masterbating Monkey 

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

Masterbating Monkey by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004

masterbating 

a common mispelling of the word "masturbating", which is the ING form of wordmasturbation]

1337_g33k: Im masterbating to porn
Normal person: Good to know.

masterbating by Anonymous March 15, 2003

masterbating 

when a guy gropes his penis thinking about a girl, and then shoots out the substance inside of the penis

one of my friends was really horny and so he masterbated and jizz came out...

masterbating by Master at sex May 13, 2005