maloned

verb, past tense-
1. when an ordinary situation, task or job not only does not work, but becomes exponentially worse, usually resulting in person(s) involved becoming permanantly scarred and/or maimed or property being broken beyond repair and usually followed by a lawsuit with the involved party.

2. Murphy's Law X 100

"Marty borrowed my truck to haul a camper to take his family on vacation, but I got Maloned when Marty attempted to connect to the camper, backed up and misaligned the receiver's hitch, ripping off the rear bumper of my truck and knocking the camper down a ravine with his family still inside."

maloned by Smitty2036 February 19, 2009

maloned

Completely destroying someone: usually by elbow, dragon kick, knee to the groin, or clothesline.

Origin: Karl "The Mailman" Malone of the L.A. Lakers

Did you see David Robinson get maloned? Fuckin' malownage. Malone just maloned his fucking ear of and he was on the maloning floor unconscious.

maloned by Karl Malone May 22, 2004

Maloned

Maloning is an act of getting ahead in your career at the expense of someone else. This usually involves an act of violence- such as deliberatly injuring someone else.

Originates from the character 'Nomi Malone' in Paul Verhoeven’s Showgirls. In this movie, Ms. Malone pushes a fellow Showgirl down the stairs to further her career in an act of Maloning. The other character pushed down the stairs was 'Maloned.'

"Tonya Harding totally Maloned Nancy Kerrigan."

Maloned by Nixon Popdizzy November 3, 2003

Maloned

When an insurance company has to shell out thousands of dollars in renovations due to faucet related damage

Nationwide totally got Maloned by Kyle

Maloned by JBchillin October 4, 2018

post-maloned 

To have a lil' fun and get a lil' crazy, "heyyy"

May or may not include: wearing grills, sporting two frizzy french braids, smoking the ganja, or being a Texan

"Dude, what are you doing tonight?"
"I'm getting post-maloned with my homies at my place before heading out to a bar."

post-maloned by postmalonehottie101 December 7, 2017

post maloned 

To be post maloned is to be so heartbroken from a relatuonship ending, that you become your best self. Like what happened to Post Malone.

"Damn, why's Jaeg's music so good?"
"Oh, he was post maloned; poor guy."

post maloned by decoygrandma July 20, 2018

Post Maloned 

Hearing a song and thinking it’s by someone black, but when you look up the artist it’s by someone that’s white.

I looked up the artist Speedgang because I liked the song “Bitch Go Die” and saw that this dude was white as a ghost. I was shook, legitimately thought he was black. Just like when Post Malone became famous. I’ve been Post Maloned

Post Maloned by Baby_Kakes21 February 16, 2019