langhammer

An abnormally long and meaty cock. A langhammer can be thought of as a “porn-star” caliber dick. Aside from the above average length and girth, a langhammer must have clear protruding penile veins.

Heidi: I feel so bad for Shea.
Maria: Why, what happened?
Heidi: The guy she went home with ended up having a langhammer…
Maria: Are you serious?
Heidi: Yeah, all she wanted was a normal hookup, but now she can’t even walk.

by handfootandbun September 24, 2022

lawlhammer

invented by Nicholas Fennema (April 4th, 2005 with inspiration from the unknown origin's rotflcopter, and Digital Ph33r's rotflknife

lawlhammer (loll-ham-mer): noun (1.) a blunt weapon that is used to kill any joke that has gone far enough (2.) the gravity hammer on halo 3 (3.) the judge's gabble which is used for condemning people for heinous crimes (4.) the last laugh
if you can't get the last word, or if you can't get a word in edgewise: use the lawlhammer to make it clear that if you had an actual hammer, you would bludgeon him to death, so therefore, politely letting the person know to STFU

1. guy: TWSS!!!
guy: LOOOOOOOL!!!!
me: lol
guy: ROTFL!!!
guy: LMAO!!!!
guy: ROTFLCOPTER!!!!!
guy: ROTFLMAOL!!!
me: lawlhammer

2. THAT N00B JUST PWND ME WITH A F***ING LAWLHAMMER!!!

3. The judged banged his lawlhammer at once, when the clown who mass-murdered mimes had been convicted for his crimes. He was then sent to the UB3R-D3ATH-R0W, where his death would be brought about by being kicked into a pit, totally naked, with zombie-MJ in it.

4. Lawlhammer.

by theonepaladin September 3, 2009

Tom-Tom-Longhammer

Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.

Damn, bro, look at that big pigeon looking motherfucker, I bet that homie is a fucking Tom-Tom-Longhammer!

by MalibuRecon May 21, 2018

Ledghammer

A legend of such power that their legendary behaviour smashes all forms of non-legendary acts to smithereens.

"Have you met Stevo?"
"Yeah, absolute ledghammer."
"Too right."

by dmbbb December 8, 2016

Longhammer

A trusty tool that helps ordinary men do extraordinary things

With the help of his longhammer, Alex was able to defeat the rebel alliance, master the violin, and still make it home in time for lunch

by Megantron August 9, 2010

Lunghammer

Colloquialism for the female breast.

Check out the lunghammers on that girl!

by nofax1 February 19, 2010

ladyhammer

A man who puts forth a rather weak effort in something is said to be making use of his ladyhammer

"Josh, swing it like you swing you ladyhammer"

by Sandy Sand from the T-Block December 12, 2012