Longhammer 

A trusty tool that helps ordinary men do extraordinary things

With the help of his longhammer, Alex was able to defeat the rebel alliance, master the violin, and still make it home in time for lunch

Longhammer by Megantron August 9, 2010

Tom-Tom-Longhammer 

Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.

Damn, bro, look at that big pigeon looking motherfucker, I bet that homie is a fucking Tom-Tom-Longhammer!

Tom-Tom-Longhammer by MalibuRecon May 21, 2018

Locohammerflu 

A strain of the flu from a foreign place that straight up kicks your ass

I went to that trade show and brought back a mother fucker of a locohammerflu

Locohammerflu by bill otronic February 23, 2018

Alabama Logjammer

when sixty-nining your girlfriend while standing up you pile drive her with your penis in her mouth (Caution: It must be your girlfriend for full satisfaction).

Oh Shit, Carlos! I accidentally Alabama Logjammer-ed your girlfriend and it was not satisfying in the least bit.

Alabama Logjammer by Batteries Donahue November 29, 2009

Logjammer 

One who comes to fix the cable.

Don't be fatous, Jeffery

Also, The Dude does not approve of his words getting deleted. Walter is gonna have to get angry if that happens again

Logjammer by The Dude March 4, 2003

langhammer 

An abnormally long and meaty cock. A langhammer can be thought of as a “porn-star” caliber dick. Aside from the above average length and girth, a langhammer must have clear protruding penile veins.

Heidi: I feel so bad for Shea.
Maria: Why, what happened?
Heidi: The guy she went home with ended up having a langhammer…
Maria: Are you serious?
Heidi: Yeah, all she wanted was a normal hookup, but now she can’t even walk.

langhammer by handfootandbun September 24, 2022

Longhander 

(noun) A person who, when typing online, uses full-length words and sentences as opposed to the abbreviations and acronyms common to online speech.

A World of Warcraft chat between a 1337speak user and a longhander:
Xxleggolaszxx: hai d00d sup
Trollski: Not much, really. Questing here and there. Yourself?
Xxleggolaszxx: lmao u said urself roflmao
Trollski: I use proper English. Hilarious.
Xxlegolaszxx: ur such a n00b u want some hawt pr0nz0rz?
Trollski: No, I don't want any frickin' prawns. I don't eat shellfish. Leave me alone.
*long pause*
Xxlegolaszxx: stfu n00b horde sux azz lolz0rz
Trollski: You doofus.

Longhander by Girouette December 21, 2008