had'd 

A contraction of "had had".

Adrian had'd a difficult week, so it made sense that he'd take some time for himself.

had'd by Trash-heap March 10, 2021

if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle 

Used to describe the pointlessness of the word if. Similar to but better to use than "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts Christmas would be every day."

If I had some money I'd pay you that money back. Well if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle by Adam7172 September 17, 2016

if i had wheels i'd be a wagon 

You change reality;it is what it is

Person 1: I wish I had different parents

Person 2: Well,if I had wheels I'd be a wagon

if i had wheels i'd be a wagon by BeastGirl Forever May 26, 2014

If your aunt had a penis she'd be your uncle 

A phrase used to disregard an unimportant and often times obvious detail. Used when that detail is used to divert attention from the topic at hand.

Little Girl 1: Why'd you eat my pudding?
Little Girl 2: My aunt is a doctor and she says eating too much pudding makes you fat.
Little Girl 1: And if your aunt had a penis she'd be your uncle, what's that got to do with why you ate my fucking pudding?

If your aunt had a penis she'd be your uncle by Action_kamen November 5, 2010

If Ye Never Had a Shuck Ye'd Droon! 

In Scotland this is pronounced "If ye never Had a Shuck Ye'd Droon" but to the rest of the English speaking world would be pronounced as "If You Never Had a Shuck You Would Drown!" This means that if you didn't have an Arse Crack you would drown in your own Sweat. This emplies that the Arse Crack is some sort of Drainage system for sweat to seep away and without it there would be a build up of sweat which would eventually drown the Sufferer.

Kathy: Oh Betty the sweat's lashin' out of me!
Betty: Aye...If Ye Never Had a Shuck Ye'd Droon!

If Ye Never Had a Shuck Ye'd Droon! by Magnesium Sulphate April 19, 2006

If it had a penis, I'd touch it. 

something that you really, really like. or something that is awesome like a song or a video. not meant to be gay, just funny.

Man that song was awesome! If it had a penis, I'd touch it.

If it had a penis, I'd touch it. by jake christy February 2, 2009

If i had an eye on my dick, i'd see inside your mouth 

An insultive phrase, denoting that you fuck somebody's mouth, that's not ever meant to be true, but it's always funny to tell it to your friends/enemies/dog/slaves/mailmen/mailwomen/pOsama Bin Laden]/anybody.

Osama Bin Laden: I am going to bomb 'mericans again.
'bama: If i had an eye on my dick, i'd see inside your mouth.

If i had an eye on my dick, i'd see inside your mouth by Tyranosaurus Alan March 25, 2010