Flatware

Furniture in a box. Made of sawdust and requiring assembly.

The furniture starts out flat. Once assembled it takes on the aspect of real furniture.

People who buy this junk are too stupid to read classifieds and buy real furniture.

Stores that sell Flatware include Walmart, Target, and that WTF store IKEA.

"Hey Clem, lets got to IKEA and get us some meatballs and flatware".
"OK Billy Bob, I'll bring the wrenches."

"Wow!" "Is that flatware?"
"Yep, check out the wood-like finish made possible by the use of contact paper."

Flatware by Verny Todaroller February 12, 2009

flatware flipper 

A person who has the annoying tendency to flip their fork or spoon while still in their mouth after taking a bite of food

"Hey Rebecca, how was that new Thai restaurant on 37th?"

"I couldn't tell ya, Jake, I spent the whole time staring down the flatware flipper in the booth across from us."

flatware flipper by R Master Flex June 10, 2009

fancy-flatware request 

"Silver plates?"

Knock, knock...
Who's there??
Kudu!!!
Kudu, whooooooooo????
Kudu come and give me a hand with changing my tire?
Well, I will if you make it a "fancy-flatware request"... :P
Silver plates?
Why, soitenly!
Mercy buckets --- prisheeyate that!
No problemmo, Dude!!!

fancy-flatware request by QuacksO November 17, 2023

Flatwater Kayak 

A suicidal sport based on racing tippy boats down flat water including, but not limited to, lakes and gorges. Most sprint athletes train through the winter without all that much clothing, layering what they do wear oddly in haste or desperation for warmth. Sprint kayakers are often considered to be rowers' slow cousin and whitewaters' wimpy sister, but in reality alot of pain and guts goes into the sport.

Most clubs share training grounds with rowers and have develloped an intense rivalry with them. Sprint kayakers have to remain fit not just for overall speed but also to fit in the thin boats. New kayakers frequently capsize, and to avoid this they might stear clear of using seats, which brings them lower to the water's surface and improves balance. Many boats use tall spikes to hold seats in place, and as many clubs are fairly poor many boats lack footboards (a board that kayakers use with steering and legdrive) so athletes occasionally have to deal with extreme discomfort. The sport is embaressing if you're caught in public in winter gear, or if you capsize during a regatta on a popular lake. This sport is not to be confused with recreational kayaking; recreational kayaks do well on rough waters while sprint boats are brutal in the wind.

1)
Brad: "Hey, Keith, check out that freaky chick with the layered spandex!"
Keith: "Haha, I hear she kayaks or something, who does that in the winter, she must be crazy!"
2)
Leslie: "Hey, kayaker! Having trouble keeping up with us shells?" (shells referring to rowing boats)
Andrea: "Hey, rower! Having trouble identifying that whale you're heading straight towards?"
3)
Oscar: "Yo, sprint is whitewater's gimped sis, man!"
Tory: "Oh yeah, I forgot that it's wimpy to risk hypothermia 6 months of the year while pulling 200 pounds with my arms and abs."
4)
Gregory: "God, it's sooooo cold out, and I have to walk home from the bus!"
Calvin: "Yeah, I have to go kayak until 7:00."
Gregory: "Serious, man? Are you crazy?"
Calvin: "Nah, just a wee bit suicidal."

FLATWATER KAYAK OWNS

Flatwater Kayak by lolCKClol November 20, 2009

flatwavelength 

Flatwavelength is a content creator that is known for her pigeon related videos. She is also known as "the pigeon girl."

I follow flatwavelength on TikTok!

flatwavelength by Germ A. December 30, 2022

Flatmare

A handy typo that can be used to indicate the true hell that is the other people you may voluntarily or otherwise be forced into sharing accommodation with.

Dave - I'm having a right flatmare at the moment
Phil - Yeah i know, i saw him licking your cheese

Flatmare by TSLewis July 13, 2011

Floatware 

A piece of software that is the opposite of bloatware, i.e. light, simple, intuitive. It may also refer to a software as a service (Saas) solution that resides "in the cloud", hence "float".

An example of "Floatware" is Twitter.

Floatware by techschuey April 8, 2010