Flatmare
A handy typo that can be used to indicate the true hell that is the other people you may voluntarily or otherwise be forced into sharing accommodation with.
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flatmate's ear
The ability to pick out the important parts of a really boring speech and ignore everything else, avoiding being bored while not offending the person speaking.
'boring boring boring boring we're meeting at eight tonight boring boring boring boring.'
'ah, thank you flatmate's ear.'
'that reminds me of boring boring boring boring...'
'ah, thank you flatmate's ear.'
'that reminds me of boring boring boring boring...'
flatmate's ear by Andrew Doughty May 3, 2008
Related Words
flatmate
1. A femail friend with small or non-existant mammaries
2. A person who lives in the same flat as you.
2. A person who lives in the same flat as you.
flatmate by Fraser Steen October 20, 2006
flatware flipper
A person who has the annoying tendency to flip their fork or spoon while still in their mouth after taking a bite of food
"Hey Rebecca, how was that new Thai restaurant on 37th?"
"I couldn't tell ya, Jake, I spent the whole time staring down the flatware flipper in the booth across from us."
"I couldn't tell ya, Jake, I spent the whole time staring down the flatware flipper in the booth across from us."
flatware flipper by R Master Flex June 10, 2009
Aussie flatmate
A native of Australia who joins your flat share and fucks shit up. Seems "quite sound" when you first meet, but as soon as their name's on the contract shit starts to go wrong:
- multiplication: get home from work and your flat is full of Aussies drinking lager, vomming in your toilet, and touching up bull dykes (known as Sheilas). Once Aussies have multiplied in your house, it is v hard to get rid of them.
- shit banter: Aussie banter is based on their supposed superiority to dumb Yanks, boring Poms, sheep shagging Kiwis, and anyone with brown skin. Still think they dominate most sports, despite this not being true.
- Ramsay Street Kitchen Nightmares: nobody in Australia has any taste or knows how to cook. Your kitchen will look like a load of 14-year-old boys moved in for a month. Signs include stacks of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and the smell of wanking coming from the sink.
- crime: Aussies are descended from convicts. The country has been a hotbed of crime since the days of Ned Kelly, and your Aussie flatmate is no different. As they have no taste (see above), they struggle to steal anything valuable, but your TV may get pawned.
- The Aussie goodbye: If you have managed to survive long enough to outstay your Aussie flatmate, you'll probably be treated to the Aussie goodbye. The classic version is to leave without paying a major bill, several months' rent, and with no forwarding address.
- multiplication: get home from work and your flat is full of Aussies drinking lager, vomming in your toilet, and touching up bull dykes (known as Sheilas). Once Aussies have multiplied in your house, it is v hard to get rid of them.
- shit banter: Aussie banter is based on their supposed superiority to dumb Yanks, boring Poms, sheep shagging Kiwis, and anyone with brown skin. Still think they dominate most sports, despite this not being true.
- Ramsay Street Kitchen Nightmares: nobody in Australia has any taste or knows how to cook. Your kitchen will look like a load of 14-year-old boys moved in for a month. Signs include stacks of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and the smell of wanking coming from the sink.
- crime: Aussies are descended from convicts. The country has been a hotbed of crime since the days of Ned Kelly, and your Aussie flatmate is no different. As they have no taste (see above), they struggle to steal anything valuable, but your TV may get pawned.
- The Aussie goodbye: If you have managed to survive long enough to outstay your Aussie flatmate, you'll probably be treated to the Aussie goodbye. The classic version is to leave without paying a major bill, several months' rent, and with no forwarding address.
Joe: Hi Brad, I've just got back from work. How was your day?
Brad: I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' HEAPS OF FACKIN' BEER YOU POMMY CUNT!
Joe: Oh that's good. I just noticed there's a naked, overweight, sunburnt woman passed out in my bed.
Brad: HAHA YES MATE, ME AND THE BOYS SPIT ROASTED LISA. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. OI OI OI.
Joe: Fuck, I hate having an Aussie flatmate.
Brad: I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' HEAPS OF FACKIN' BEER YOU POMMY CUNT!
Joe: Oh that's good. I just noticed there's a naked, overweight, sunburnt woman passed out in my bed.
Brad: HAHA YES MATE, ME AND THE BOYS SPIT ROASTED LISA. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. OI OI OI.
Joe: Fuck, I hate having an Aussie flatmate.
Aussie flatmate by Terry Tractorosis December 4, 2012
Flatware
Furniture in a box. Made of sawdust and requiring assembly.
The furniture starts out flat. Once assembled it takes on the aspect of real furniture.
People who buy this junk are too stupid to read classifieds and buy real furniture.
Stores that sell Flatware include Walmart, Target, and that WTF store IKEA.
The furniture starts out flat. Once assembled it takes on the aspect of real furniture.
People who buy this junk are too stupid to read classifieds and buy real furniture.
Stores that sell Flatware include Walmart, Target, and that WTF store IKEA.
"Hey Clem, lets got to IKEA and get us some meatballs and flatware".
"OK Billy Bob, I'll bring the wrenches."
"Wow!" "Is that flatware?"
"Yep, check out the wood-like finish made possible by the use of contact paper."
"OK Billy Bob, I'll bring the wrenches."
"Wow!" "Is that flatware?"
"Yep, check out the wood-like finish made possible by the use of contact paper."
Flatware by Verny Todaroller February 12, 2009