Fig Newtons 

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

Fig Newtons by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008

Fig Newtons 

A term for marijuana.

Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!

Fig Newtons by yellowfeather996 November 2, 2009

fig newtons 

The greatest cookies on the face of the earth, since cookies were put on the face of the earth! It's a good way of getting your little one's into eating fruit too!

Hey Andi, I'm going to Albee Motors to get a new truck. Wanna come? You can bring Ivy Rose I hear she's a good little Peekie}.
Okay Dave, I'll come. I can eat some Fig Newtons in the waiting room and maybe some Twizzlers if some are available.

fig newtons by Andi January 19, 2006

Fig Newton 

Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.

"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"

Fig Newton by Fundabz June 7, 2013

Fig Newton 

The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.

Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.

Fig Newton by BDALE4LIFE September 26, 2005

Fig Newton 

A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.

Dude you're such a Fig Newton!

Fig Newton by CIZE June 7, 2013

fig newton 

as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"

I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.

fig newton by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006