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The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
by BDALE4LIFE September 13, 2005
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Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"
by Fundabz June 06, 2013
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The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. July 15, 2008
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