11 definitions by Barnaby J.

People that mistakenly assume that doggy style means anal sex, because they always have butt sex on the brain for some reason, as if "leashed" to the idea in the same way a dog is leashed to a tree.
-Me and Jill did it doggy style in your van a few minutes ago.

-What?! Now my van is going to smell like butt fluid for days! That vile stench will seep into my upholstery. That'll really up the resale value, shithead. What were you thinking??

-I didn't have buttsex, you Anal Leash. Besides, I think you're describing a Pittsburgh Pipecleaner. I have more class than that.

-I don't.
by Barnaby J. July 14, 2008
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Damn, this math problem is hard.

So? Would you say it's complicated?

What? No. Idiot. The correct term is complicating.

I think you're mistaken.

That's why you're dumb.
by Barnaby J. July 11, 2008
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1. Contrary to popular belief, the Counting Crows are actually several middle-aged buttholes that have brainwashed most radio stations and youth into believing they make music. Actually, they make extremely expensive garbage-noise which is painful to hear in much the same way a fever hallucination is to experience.

2. An activity a person in a wheatfield might do.
hey, its long december! i love counting crows!

what? wait... really?

what do you mean? they're a really good band.

i hope your kids die of rabies.
by Barnaby J. July 4, 2008
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1. The skinny cartilaginous wings lining the anterior edge of the external auditory canal. Also called the tragus.

2. The magical buttons that when pushed, hide unwanted garbage-noise from entering the skull.
Do you always stick your fingers in your ear-holes when you hear Counting Crows?

No, I just push my ear-buttons.

What are those?

The little wings outside your ear; you push them onto your ear so you don't get your fingers gross with earwax.

Sounds complicating. I think I'll just stick with wax-fingers.
by Barnaby J. July 11, 2008
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The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. July 16, 2008
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The gelatinous, viscous, amalgamation of diarrhea and usually seminal fluid that drips from the anal orifice down to the catholic schoolgirl knee-socks after a romping good round of buttsex.
Teacher: What is 3+3?

Student 1: I smell poop.

Student 2: Hey Jill, whats that stain on your socks??

Jill: O no i forgot my butt plug. The butt fluid is a-flowin'.

Teacher: Well, go confess.

Jill: Why? It's the priest's fault for ramming it in too hard.
by Barnaby J. July 14, 2008
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1. Any group of people that generally lack talent, humor, modesty, intelligence, or any related qualities of otherwise normal people.

2. Used as a slightly less meaningful but more conversationally appropriate term for assholes.

3. The holes in butts.
I was looking for a good boulder for Dinosaur Sex in the woods when some buttholes were blasting Counting Crows on their radio. I pushed my ear-buttons to keep out the wretched garbage-noise.
by Barnaby J. July 11, 2008
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