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douchenometry 

a lesser known branch of mathematics that studies douchebags. Douchenometry deals with the relationship between the modern day douchebag and doucheassery.
Douchenometry should be a mandatory prerequisite class prior to working at any Ed Hardy clothing store.

sample theories
1. douchebagA + douchebagB = 2 too many douchebags in one area
2. The shortest distance between two douchebags is always the other direction
douchenometry by pendergastastic September 7, 2010

Douchenose 

Someone who you want to smack for being a douche
After watching jersey shore, I thought the situation was a douchenose to women
Douchenose by Sumdumho September 25, 2014

Douchecanoe

It's a lightweight craft used by douches to move around on the figurative conversational currents to spread their message of doucheness to new individuals who were blissfully unaware of their existence. It also has cupholders, which is the only redeeming quality of the douchecanoe.
"Wow, did you hear what Jim had to say at the party last night?"
"Yeah, he came from nowhere on his douchecanoe and made everyone feel uncomfortable."
Douchecanoe by BounceTigger May 6, 2013

doucheassery

an act or acts of jackassery committed by completely douchey people
Tom is up to his usual doucheassery by wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and claiming to be a UFC fan
doucheassery by pendergastastic September 6, 2010

douchenoozle 

A common misspelling of the word douchenozzle; the misspelling became the norm at a BBS about TV commercials we all hate; it then became rather commonplace.
Dave is such a fucking douchenoozle for stuffing a roll of paper towelling and three boxes of tampons down our toliet bowl.
douchenoozle by Telephony December 6, 2011

douchamonger

Pronounced: (doosh-uh-mong-ur)

One who constantly acts like a douche on epic proportions.
(Douche slaps other guy's books on the ground.)
Guy: Dude...WHAT THE HELL?!
Douche: What?
Guy: Why'd you do that?
Douche: I don't know.
Guy: Freaking douchamonger..
douchamonger by Pdoany. February 25, 2009
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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